Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Brains (Are) Food

Professions That Would Be Awesome for Someone With the Last Name of 'Zombie'
  • Zombie, Zombie, and Zombie: Attorneys at Law
  • Zombie Family Morgue
  • Professor Zombie
  • Rob Zombie: Horror Film Director
  • {insert lead singer's name here} and the Zombie Bros.
  • Doctor Zombie: Neurosurgeon
  • Zombie's Family Dentistry
  • Agent Z
  • Zombie Funeral Home ("You'll Be Back Before You Know It!")
  • Congressman Zombie
  • Professor Zombie PhD
  • Father Zombie
  • Professor Zombie
  • Philanthropist (you could name buildings after yourself, Zombie Neurology Wing, Zombie Hall, Zombie Library, Zombie Dining Hall....)
  • Commander Zombie
  • Master Zombie
  • President Zombie
  • Zombie's House of Pizza
  • Zombie and Son's Farmer's Market
  • Dean Zombie
  • The Zombie Family Haunted Hayride


Q: What do you call a Russian Zombie?
A: Zom-rade!

lol-erskates. ahh man sooo tired...

Monday, August 30, 2010

First Day-O-School

Today I learned....
  • Not all the freshman are biddies. I was a bit to harsh in my initial evaluation
  • I need to keep up with the up-and-coming artists (anyone wanna offer some suggestions of really good, living, artists?)
  • The Anchor is a terrible place
  • THERE'S A MOTHER-LOVIN' SALADWORKS FOOD CART ON CAMPUS!! And they do meal plan! Life=complete
  • I hate UD food
  • My ed teacher is going to a Lady Gaga concert (I think we're going to get alone juuuuust fine...)
  • Shortcuts in Lancaster...not so short.
  • Blendinis are actually pretty legit
  • A watched skype never rings
  • My RA doesn't think we're super weird.
  • Great minds use the same shampoo (hooray for herbal essence)
  • Herbal Essences shampoo bottle and two-in-one bottle are the same...whoops
  • Facebook video is a fail
  • There's an international student from South Africa in my ed class! whoah!
  • I <3 Cyber Cafe
  • I missed 11:00 'Family Guy' but happily there are significantly less fast food commercials, which is good for me and Peas-n-Carrots
  • Vera Bradley may be onto something with those stupid, cliche ID holders...as much as I don't want to admit it
  • It's so good to be back!!!
  • 2.5 hour studios are so much easier to bear if for 5 weeks they're the only class you have that day, and are not followed by another 2.5 hour studio. Art majors, bless your little hearts (but I can't bless your souls, you've long since sold them to the art department....)\\
And this....



"This is the most photogenic spot on campus" *large cough* MILLERSVILLE'S POND *large cough*
"We just started a huge construction project on our dining halls, library, auditorium, and student center, but we won't be here to see it, neither will you!" Sound familiar?!

Shoutout to Peas-n-Carrots for the video :)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

WE'REEEEE BAAAAACK

So, suffice to say that stepping into my room earlier today was legit one of the best feelings in the world. Abet now I'm mad tired and lonely (all the roomies have interesting Cantan-less social lives and bfs) but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It feels so good to be back, blogging from my humble little nook of a desk from school hanging out with some of the grandest people ever, playing strategy-based games until the wee hours of the morning (okay, not that wee, but cut us a break we all had to move in this morning!!) And shout outs to the new freshies, met up with some really awesome ones today :) However, look out AU because our biddie count is through the roof this year. Although I don't want to judge to quickly or too harshly, but there were several flocks of them in Hopi and the surrounding areas, so we'll see...

Other than that, not too much to learn today, just a lot of catching up, scouring for food, and Disney music. Good day, in my book. Olive Garden tomorrow, ohhhh yeah endless soup, salad, and bread sticks...More soon!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I Heart Disney

This is one of the most wonderful crossovers between Non/Disney and any trailer I've ever seen (except possibly the 'Mean Girls' one - posted below). Probably because 'Other Boyln Girl' holds a special place in my heart...



Wednesday, August 25, 2010

As Per Request

This first video is being posted at the request of one of my loyal readers. I'm gonna warn you all up front though, this first video is quite creepy. It's a haunting and stunning portrayal of the elusive concept of beauty and its increasing impossibility. Which is completely true, fashion, style, all of it is moving at a pace that is nearly impossible to follow. We bombard our kids with unrealistic images (those 12 pack abs you see on that male model? anatomically impossible, sorry girls) and then tell them that's beautiful, that's sexy, that's what they should be like. Bullshit. Thirty years ago, Marilyn Monroe was rocking a curvaceous size somewhere between 12 and 16. Now, kids (mostly girls, though guys aren't immune) see pictures of size 00 models and tell them how high fashion that is. A size, not only very hard to achieve, but potentially unhealthy to certain people. And, on top of being 00, most models are photoshopped on top of that to make their figures even more unrealistic (see second video. I didn't mean for this post to be about unrealistic beauty expectations and such, but you know how I ramble). Actually, I saw one of the Real Beauty Campaign girls speak at my school last semester and it was one of the best speakers I've ever seen. She talked about everything from being in the campaign (some of the stuff people wrote about her....ohh man I would have cried myself to sleep many a night...) to all the crap 'the industry' does behind the scenes to keep us all unsatisfied in our quest for beauty. WHICH IS A LOAD OF CRAP. As you can tell, this issue hits a nerve. But, I digress...

That all being said, this first video is still is a little weird. But is superbly done and has a message worth watching for.







Basically, if there's anything you gain from this post, it's that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is real and cannot be manufactured by all the computers and makeup in the world. All that shit serves to do is cover up what's really there, and that's a pity because we really lose something when we whore ourselves over to companies who feed on our insecurity and need to feel beautiful by anyone else's standards but our own.

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Summer of Craft

So, I was reminiscing on craft projects gone by and realized that I have been less than vigilant in documenting my numerous craft projects over the summer, and I'd venture to say I did quite a lot. So I figured I'd share them here, half because I'm super happy with them and half to keep my sanity and to have some record of where I lost it. So, without further ado; My summer crafts!!

ModPodged DVD Case (graduation gift)


ModPodge Desk Drawers (for mwah)

PinUp Skirt (a re-post, I know, but I love it!!)

Madame Rosmerta's Glittery Heels (commissioned by the wifey)



Finn & Jake hats (3 Finn hats, 1 Jake)

Cassette Tape Wallet (shout out to RD for this one!)

Totally Awesome AVPM Zefron Totes

B&W Skirt (a reconstruction, but still a project)

Mathematical Adventure Time Shoes (for mwah)

And, my pride and joy this summer, maybe my favorite project of the summer...

Hyrulian Shield (from Legend of Zelda) Cork board (graduation gift, feet are there for size reference, lol)

If anyone can think of anything else I've made this summer (or ever) that they have or remember me making that I don't have a picture of, please send me a picture (if you own the craft in question) or comment me reminding me of what it is!! Peace out.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Happy 200th Post-aversary!

So, I've been delaying this post, because I was trying to think of something epic for my 200th post, because 200 posts about nothing is kind of a big deal in my book. And for someone with such commitment issues coming into this blog, 200 posts was basically ridiculous to even consider reaching. But here I am, almost a year later, still going (sort of) strong! So, I went to my BFF google to search '200' and see what came up, looking for potential material for a blog post, and sadly, my go-to buddy left me sorely disappointed. Other than a two hundred sit-up work out plan (which actually looks quite promising, I'll let you know if I get anywhere with that) there wasn't much inspiration lurking on the interwebs tonight. So I'll have to come up with this one from scratch.

200 Things
A List
25 Things I Am Thankful For
  1. My family, who love and support me
  2. My friends
  3. My education
  4. The opportunities I've been given
  5. The roof over my head
  6. Umbrellas
  7. The clothes on my back
  8. The county, state, country I live in
  9. That I do not have to live in a state of fear
  10. WAWA
  11. Spell Check
  12. That I can express who I am without fear
  13. The people I've meet
  14. The people who risk their lives daily in the service of our country, to keep me safe
  15. Walt Disney
  16. My health
  17. Lazer tag
  18. My literacy
  19. The sacrifices that have been made on my behalf
  20. Craftster and DeviantArt for their inspiration
  21. Late night TV
  22. Target
  23. Technology
  24. X-Acto knives (they help with EVERYTHING)
  25. Cameras
25 Things I Love
  1. My family
  2. My friends
  3. Looking at the stars
  4. Classic animated movies
  5. Disney World
  6. Road trips
  7. Laying in the sun
  8. Writing
  9. Talking to people for hours
  10. Crafting strange and unusual things
  11. Midnight movies
  12. Driving alone and singing along to the radio
  13. Driving with friends and singing along to the radio
  14. Dressing up in costume
  15. Boggle
  16. Watching cartoons
  17. Designing things
  18. Thrift stores
  19. Doodling
  20. Complimenting strangers
  21. Receiving random texts that make me smile
  22. Going on an unexpected and unplanned adventure
  23. Nerdy guys
  24. Beating everyone in Mario Kart Double Dash
  25. Browsing bookstores

25 Places I'd Love to Go


  1. New Zealand (to all the sets of LotR)
  2. Paris, France
  3. London, England
  4. Australia
  5. Texas
  6. San Diego (to the International Comic Con)
  7. Las Vegas
  8. Area 51
  9. Angel Falls, Venezuela
  10. Pyramids at Gisa
  11. Chicago, IL
  12. Portland, OR
  13. Alaska
  14. Hong Kong, China
  15. Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, FL
  16. Natural Bridges National Monument, Utah (first and foremost Dark Sky Park in the nation)
  17. Scotland
  18. New Orleans, LA
  19. Canada
  20. Japan
  21. Puerto Rico
  22. Barcelona, Spain
  23. PSU (what? I've never been and am curious!!)
  24. Taj Mahal
  25. Rome
25 Places I've Been
  1. Philadelphia, PA
  2. New York City
  3. Richmond, VA
  4. Lancaster, PA
  5. Bird-In-Hand, PA
  6. Washington D.C.
  7. Intercourse, PA
  8. Bar Harbor, ME
  9. Los Angeles, CA
  10. San Diego, CA
  11. Monteray, CA
  12. Belmar, NJ
  13. Wildwood, NJ
  14. Nags Head, NC
  15. Williamsburg, VA
  16. Ocean City, MD
  17. Ocean City, NJ
  18. Orlando, FL
  19. Santa Monica, CA
  20. Trenton, NJ
  21. Carlisle, PA
  22. Shelburne, VT
  23. Sea Isle, NJ
  24. Chelfont, PA
  25. Assateague Island, MD
25 Things I'd Like to Do


  1. Go paint balling
  2. Learn to play piano
  3. Perform onstage
  4. Buy a car
  5. Knit a Harry Potter scarf
  6. See 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' performed
  7. Fall in love
  8. Ride Steel Force
  9. Walk a red carpet
  10. LARP
  11. Get a pedicure
  12. Learn how to use Photoshop & Illustrator
  13. Ride in a hot air balloon
  14. Get my teaching licence
  15. Go on a cruise
  16. Learn karate
  17. Travel
  18. Buy something from Modcloth
  19. Take an epic road trip
  20. Scuba dive
  21. Throw a rock through a window
  22. Read the 'Alice in Wonderland' books
  23. Have my own classroom
  24. Dance in the rain
  25. Leave the country

25 Things I've Done


  1. Parasailed
  2. Eaten a bug
  3. Attended a Comic Convention
  4. Traveled to a major city alone
  5. Learned guitar
  6. Been to California
  7. Graduated high school
  8. Made craft-foam armor
  9. Been to a drive-in movie
  10. Stayed up all night reading
  11. Helped a stranger
  12. Survived freshman year of college
  13. Rode in a taxi
  14. Given blood
  15. Gotten a cavity filled
  16. Been bitten by a mosquito
  17. Painted a set
  18. Been elected
  19. Been in a parade
  20. Camped on the beach
  21. Grilled hamburgers with a spatula in one hand and a solo cup in the other
  22. Watched every episode of 'Avatar'
  23. Dressed up for a midnight movie
  24. Been heckled
  25. Created a bucket list

25 Favorites


  1. Food: clam chowder, mike-n-ikes, chocolate, triscuts, potato salad
  2. Drink: iced tea
  3. Movie: PotC, Star Wars, V for Vendetta, anything Disney
  4. Book: Harry Potter, 1984
  5. Quote: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller
  6. Place: my room
  7. Color: it changes almost daily, mustard right now
  8. Cartoon: Avatar, Scooby Doo, Recess, Pokemon (original series)
  9. TV Show: Project Runway
  10. Actor: Johnny Depp
  11. Actress: Natalie Portman, Helena Bonham Carter
  12. Time of day: night time
  13. Singer/Band: The Killers, Lady Gaga, The Beatles, Bright Eyes, Kate Nash
  14. Song: at the moment 'Bulletproof' or 'Paparazzi'
  15. Holiday: Halloween
  16. Ice Cream Flavor: cookie dough
  17. Video Game: Mario Kart Double Dash, Sonic Adventure 2, Pokemon Blue, Super Smash Melee
  18. Animal: it changes, wolves, big cats, birds of prey
  19. Superhero: Hit Girl (if she counts), Batman, Wolverine, Mistique (if she counts)
  20. Shoes: chuck taylors, painted vans, black flats
  21. Board game: Boggle, Bananagrams, Sorry
  22. Resturaunt: WAWA! Sonic, Red Robin, Olive Garden
  23. Store: TARGET
  24. Season: fall
  25. Weather: huge late-night thunderstorms
25 Lessons

  1. Don't take rides from harmonica players.
  2. Sometimes the unknown should remain so.
  3. Sometimes not.
  4. People can make you feel the best you've ever felt, but also the worst.
  5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  6. Those meant to stay in your life, will.
  7. Sometimes you don't realise the people who care until they're gone or you are.
  8. I'm a huge nerd.
  9. Rain boots, like most everything in life, are easy to find when you're not looking.
  10. Sometimes you should buy/sell your books at the school store, sometimes not.
  11. Try new things.
  12. Some people were never taught the Golden Rule. But it still applies to them.
  13. If you aren't enjoying what you're doing, stop doing it.
  14. Going somewhere alone does not make you lonely.
  15. Confidence cannot be bought, sold, or traded, but it's worth its weight in gold.
  16. Once the feeling you're about to shit yourself has passed, roller coasters are a blast.
  17. Some things need no words.
  18. Water your plants, and keep them in direct sunlight.
  19. Stupid things, when done in large groups, are still stupid, but they're a whole lot funnier.
  20. You can take files from an iPod and put them on a computer.
  21. Disney movies will never ever cease to enthrall me.
  22. Sometimes your gut is wrong. But mostly not.
  23. It's never to late to turn around. You may not be able to go back the same way you came, but it is possible.
  24. Life is messy.
  25. Good friends are easy to find, great friends are unforgettable.

Hope you enjoyed this little share-session. And thank you all, wonderful readers, for bearing with me through all my stupid nonsense. You're all super-mega-foxy-awesome and I appreciate the feedback!!! Any suggestions for further posts are always appreciated! I'll be back at school soon-learning all sorts of crap- and hopefully this blog will be more interesting then. Love you all, peace & blessins!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

For My Wonderful Status Buddy

This is actually one of the most beautifully fascinating videos I've ever had the pleasure of viewing. It's eerily enchanting. Much like my beloved status/bosom/craft buddy who requested this post.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Make It a Great Year, Or Not The Choice Is Yours.

On that note: recent grads seem to be flying off the shelves recently, whisked away to the dream schools of their choice, about to embark on the most grand of adventures; college (and yes, I am a time-wizened sophomore and can dispense my wisdom at will, so shut up and listen noobs). So I suppose that since, back in the day when this blog had a theme instead of being my insomniac ramblings, this blog was supposed to be a college based one I should put on a post for anyone reading whose heading off/has headed off to the big school (not in the sky) this year.

Krysti's Helpful College Survival Tips
(a colorful, pictoral adventure)

  1. I don't care where you go to school, be it Forks, WA or the deserts of Arizona, rainboots are an absolute must. Classes still go on when it's raining and guess what sucker? You've still gotta trek across campus to get your soon-to-be-well-educated tush there. They also double as pretty great snowboots.
  2. Go to class. Yes, I know, I'm an absentphobic nerd and of course I'm going to advise this (for your snot-nosed info I did miss three classes this year, so there!) but honestly, if you calculate the money you're losing every time you skip a class (if you're sick, that's different) it's just not worth it to not go. Your schedule in college is a piece of easy cake compared to high school, with like 4 hours of class a day, with breaks in-between, so I really don't see why you can't get your butt to class.
  3. Don't buy books from the book store. They completely rip you off with their prices (most of the time, but not all) when there are so many other places you can get your books for much better deals. Personally, I'm a fan of half.com but search around. I've gotten $90 books for $18. The only thing you really can't do anything about is those stupid professors who insist on you using their book. They're really only sold at the school store. But I know of people who have even asked professors about using older versions of a book because they're essentially the same and much cheaper. Never hurts to ask!
  4. If you are yourself, friends will come. Trust me, I had pretty much accepted that I would be spending almost all my time at school alone, because who would even want to be friends with me? But come orientation I ended up meeting a shit-ton of awesome people who - to my surprise - liked me (if you're reading this guys - love you!). Joining things you're interested in (like Biology Club lol) can help you meet people too, and chances are since you were both ballsy enough to go to that function, you have common interests. Always be open to meet as many people as you can, it really helps to make the campus feel just a tad bit smaller. Keeping your door open (if you're roommates are okay with it) is also a great way to be approachable and you never know who'll stop by to admire your sweet space painting or poster or what have you. And don't forget that almost everyone is in the same boat as you are, so don't be afraid to introduce yourself! Network, network, network!
  5. I didn't actually do this this year, but I think it's a great idea. Clip these on the edge of your desk so you don't lose charger cords! But don't forget to unplug your chargers when not in use to save energy!
  6. Calendars are very useful. I personally like the whiteboard kind, but it's personal preference. They're really useful for planning everything from trips home to keggers (if that's what you're into, I don't condone them). And trust me, your time at school will totally fill up between projects, trips, events, friends visiting, visiting friends, breaks, service projects, midnight movie premieres, etc.
  7. Don't forget to bring some kind of weekend bag to bring on those mini-trips home or camping or to visit friends. I suggest a roomy duffel bag rather than a nice piece of hard-shell luggage (been there, done that, not readily repeating it).
  8. Communal bathrooms: they are gross, they are scary, they will remain gross and scary places even after you get used to them. Sorry. Get yourself some sturdy shower shoes and a Velcro towel and man up. At least you (hopefully) don't have crazy hardcore-lesbian-ticket scalping cleaning ladies.
  9. Go to free campus events. Even if you're so-so about it. Did I mention the FREE part? There are always a million free things going on on-campus and they're great ways to meet people, fill your weekends, and have something to do with the people you've already met.
  10. Do all the things you were too afraid to do in high school, join choir, band, Biology club, football, dance, whatever it is that you couldn't bring yourself to break into these last four years (okay, I admit, I'm still working on this myself, but I'm going to make a fresh attempt this fall...). Now's your chance, no one will question why you're there, no one cares if you did it in high school.
  11. Go on trips. Student associations and clubs are always offering cheap bus trips to NYC, Philly, DC to see shows to go to museums...GO! Call up your friends at school in that particular city and let them know you'll be in town. Or get a group of your school friends together and go!
  12. Longwood Gardens :)
  13. Be yourself. College is the time to show people who you've discovered that you are at this point, while hiding all the mess it took to get there. People at college won't know you peed your pants in third grade or all about your messy relationship in sophomore year, they only see the stronger person that has emerged as a result. Not that I'm saying you have to completely reinvent yourself at college, (in fact, don't because I'm 100% sure that you're pretty damn awesome the way you are right now) but I am saying that you're a clean slate at school, one you can draw on as you wish. So introduce yourself as your best side, the person you always wanted to be, and then be that person. Now's your chance, life is waiting.
Doesn't get much more 'Being Myself' than this...
To conclude: congrats class of 2010, now go out and kick some college ass! I know you will. Best of luck. xoxo Gossip Girl

Caution: Watch for Cultural References Flying Over Heads

This is an interesting article I found the other day, its basically a list of outdated aspects of our culture published mostly to help those college professors still striving to be hip and culturally relevant in their lectures. As a child of a slow-to-pick-up-technology family I can still say I live my daily life using a corded phone, I send snail mail (just ask everyone who got my Christmas cards this year!), I have worn a wristwatch, and I can write cursive. But it's interesting to see all the things that the generations before us considered to be common knowledge that we have no idea about. If you visit their website, they've published lists dating from the class of 2014 (meaning those entering college this year) all they way back to the class of 2002. So what do we think recent grads? Is this true?

Monday, August 16, 2010

As Told By Graphs

I'm in love with these graphs, they're so hilarious. Expect to see many more of them on here.

So true!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Future Freaks Me Out

And this is why. Literally everything I've ever aspired to be is on that list. And as much as I tell myself that the money isn't important and it's about making a difference (because really, that's a large chunk of my motivation for becoming a teacher) it's still tough to think that I'm working my butt of for four years toward the second worst-paying degree in 2010. I mean, I knew teachers were paid badly, I've always had people tell me that, and I'm not about to change my major for it. But it's just a little...depressing, I guess. That everything I've ever wanted to do falls on this list. Makes me feel a little worthless. And also a little angry. Because honestly, there are few things that (SHOULD) fall higher on our nations priorities than education, yet the people educating our nation are paid the least. Not that I don't have the utmost respect for athletes, but it's absolute bullshit to argue that they deserve the paychecks that they get. They render no necessary service to our nation, they do nothing for society, they do nothing for our future yet they get paid for a few months what most teachers won't make in five years. Complete crap. And I'm not just saying that because I aspire to be a teacher and don't want to be sleeping on my parent's couch until I'm 40. I'm saying that shouldn't we put a higher price tag on education than entertainment? Shouldn't someone who is vital to the success of future generations get paid a little more than someone who can catch a ball well and will retire in fifteen years to a life of easy living? Let's give a little credit to the teachers who slave their asses off five days a week nine months a year to keep our country running in the future rather than throw money at athletes who manage to keep our attention for about an hour a week by skillfully prancing around a field in spandex.

In case you were wondering: the other end of the spectrum.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Fine Dining in BC

So, while crusin' around a while ago I discovered the weirdest place ever...the Council Rock Cafe. Like, what?! Apparently our school district is so fancy (*snort*) that we have a cafe (for those of Council Rock descent, it's right down the street from North). This was like two months ago, but I drove by again recently and got to wondering what the hell one would serve at a Council Rock Cafe...



Welcome to
Council Rock Cafe
Voted top 20 in PA by Philadelphia Magazine!! OMGGGG

Drink Specials*

Tequila Mockingbird
Atticus and Rhonda's drink of choice!

Whiskey on the Rock
You know you always wanted to...

Parting Shots
One and done.

*Happy Hour starts at 7:33am weekdays

Soups & Salads

Three Fire Alarm Chili
So nice, you'll have to pull the fire alarm...thrice!

Supe Soup
Campbell's got nothin' on this!

Show Me the Green! Salad
Topped with MmmmmHhmmm dressing. Scrumptious!

Appetizers

Wake-n-Bake
Bread basket, complementary with meal.

Golden Wings
They're quite saucy! Hand puppet included with order.

Fries
The best thing the cafeteria served....

In 'Queso' Emergency
Sit in the hallways for 20 minutes during homeroom. Chicken quesadillas.

Main Course

Spirit [Week] Fingers
Only served on PJ day.

Oz's Home Cooked Meal
Literally straight from home.

Freshman Surprise
Who knows what you'll find!? Served rare only.

After-School Special
Hawk, lightly roasted, and topped with an Apple sauce.

Dessert

3.14 Pi (a la Mode)
Cherry, apple, blueberry, or pumpkin.


Cafeteria Cookies
The fact that the center is raw dough just adds to their greatness.


Revenge
Best served cold.




Hmmmmm everything sounds so tasty! What to order!!


[Sorry to everyone who didn't go to South/doesn't get the joke. I'll tell you when you're older ;) ]


Speaking of the Lady...

This is quite possibly one of the best excerpts I've ever read about Gaga- possibly I've ever read period. It came from a great and extremely well thought out article here about why Taylor Swift (the musician/public icon, not the person is hated by little monsters everywhere).

"Let’s bring it back around to the lady that obvs should’ve won: Lady Fucking Gaga. Lady Gaga is viscous hungry sex in hellfire. She’s more theatrical than Broadway and every night she sings in romantic open fists. Lady Gaga opens her dress, extracts her gut, assembles it in shapes splashed in sinister glitter and then shatters her dangerous violent diamonds onto the piano and screams FIRE and it sounds like bad romance. She wants your ugly, she wants your disease, and she’s everything Taylor Swift will never be. Punks don’t win awards, they eat awards.

And so that’s what I hope for my hypothetical unborn children, whether it’s from Gaga or another powerhouse female who owns it on stage: pop music that shuns tired Dawson Leary cliche in favor of your drama, disease, love, revenge, and (when you’re ready) your dangerous ambisexual kiss in the motherfucking sand.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah,

Roma-roma-mah,

GaGa-ooh-la-la."
I only hope that one day I'll be able to write something on this blog that is good enough to lick the stilettos of this one. Because it is fierce. Sorry, T Swift fans, I'm not hating on y'all (see, I'm from PA and can use country slang too Taylor) but I am hating upon your idol, who propagates waiting around for big stong men to come and save you and happy endings and fairy dust. Newsflash. You think like that and one bad romance will shatter that poker face leave you speechless cause you can't play the lovegame.

Gaga-ooh-la-la indeed.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Lady Gaga Leaves Me Speechless

So, way way overdue here's my post on the Gaga concert.

FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

Now, I know you're all thinking 'well duh Krysti, we could have told you that' or 'well of course she would say that, she's a Gaga-aholic.' Well, yeah, that's true, but I would also say I've been to a fair share of concerts, of varying venues, sizes, costs, and target audiences, and this was one of the most epic. Though our seats weren't front row center it's The Gaga for pete's sake, the dumpsters outside are prime seating! And if you don't believe me, here's proof that her concerts freaking rock. Six sections over there were Madison Square employees signing the entire concert to a section. As in, there were deaf people there. At a concert. Just to see the spectacle that is Gaga. There were 8 year olds, there were 80 year olds, there were gays, straights, straights who appeared lesbians, bisexuals, and every shape, size and color in between. Just the fact that her demographic is that large says something about her awesome-ness. I think what it is, is that Gaga is totally comfortable with who she is, be it wearing a giant lobster on her head, crawling half-naked across stages in sold-out arena, or just sitting and playing the piano. And that kind of confidence is extremely magnetic. Her just being on stage feeling totally comfortable with herself makes everyone around her (or her music) feel like maybe, just maybe, being themselves isn't as frightening as it sometimes can be. I mean, for the love of glitter, if Lady Gaga can perform in front of the world wearing nothing a few well-placed rhinestones, trying a new activity, meeting new people, daring to buy that shirt you never thought you could pull off, seems like a piece of cherry pie (much like loving you is). Not only that, but her stage presence is unparallelled. Even from the very back of the arena, you can tell that she pours 150% of herself into her performance, dancing, singing, and even making speeches in between about support for the gay and lesbian community, being yourself, and helping homeless teen off the streets. She actually is quite a stirring speaker, I know she moved me. And I mean, of course, the theatricality was phenomenal. From the random neon signs, to the tornado, to the huge fish puppet thing, and of course the costumes! the entire show was such a spectacle in itself, and then you throw Gaga in to ring lead the whole shebang, and HOLY CRAP. Amazing.

I was trying to explain to my mother, who is opposed to unnecessarily bucking the system, about why I love Gaga so much (she hates her) and found it quite difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is about Gaga that appeals to the masses and I. I've pinpointed a few of the factors that I believe add to her appeal:
  • Her charisma
  • Her confidence
  • Her talent
  • Her absurdity
  • Her off-center taste
  • Her sincerity
  • Her love of her fans
  • Her devotion to her work
  • Her costumes (let's face it, they caught/continue to catch our collective attention)
  • Her down-to-earth-ness (ever watch an interview with her?? so nice)
  • Her dedication to causes (volunteer work with Virgin Mobile got you free Monster Ball tickets, she donates to help get teens off the streets, etc.)
Basically I think Gaga is pretty damn fab, but you knew that already. Her concert was amazing and wonderful and I recommend everyone try and go see her (which I'm sure you could have guessed before I wrote this). I figured I'd pull this post from my draft folder and finish it, since my lovable status buddy requested a new post and my sleep-deprived mind can't think of anything to say about my current life. So....(better late than never) pictures!!




Monday, August 2, 2010

As Told By Graphs


True Life.

Just Another Rant

So, you know what I absolutely hate with every fiber of my being right now? Yogurt. It's probably the worst food on the face of the earth besides like, dog. Freakin' nasty. Am I a little salty because three kids in a row spilled their stupid yogurt on me in five minutes? You decide.

Now, before you all jump to the defense of every one's favorite bacterial snack, I want to first, say I will not hear the council for the defense, and secondly this only applies to children's yogurt. Like, all that stupid, artificially colored shit that's supposed to taste like cotton candy and bubblegum and wild water-apple-melon-berry. I don't care that it's healthy and delicious and wonderful for your bowel movement. Save it for Jamie Lee Curtis. Yogurt is, by definition, just a big-ass colony of bacteria fermenting. Lick a toilet seat and save yourself the $1.87 why don't you. And another thing, does it or does it not look just like vomit. If you say 'No, Krysti, you're being ridiculous' then I don't think you've ever had to scrub freaking Trix yogurt out of a lunchbox because believe you me, next time I need some faux throw-up (faux-up?) I'm heading straight for the dairy section of Superfresh. Plus yogurt has the possibly the worst texture in the world. It's like pudding that someone has left out for a little too long on the kitchen counter, kind of a runny, slimy solid. Need I go on?

So that was super-random readers, and I apologise, as you might guess, as well as I concealed it, I am a bit saucy at becoming the next big yogurt-covered snack today at lunchtime. But such is the life of a camp councilor I suppose. Anyway, I'm really running low on things to write about (in case you haven't noticed the lame, link-filled posts lately) so if you'd like to hear me talk about some random topic, lemme know, I'm open to suggestions. Force be with you.