As If We Needed More Proof that Kurt Vonnegut Is Awesome

By far, my favorite speech of all time:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Again, the man's a genius.

New Feature: THE HANDY COLLEGE KID

Things every college student will likely need to know....

Today's post: HOW TO SAVE A WET CELL PHONE
(because we've all been there, don't lie to me...)

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091206165218AAe6Mwc

Spotted Around Campus

And here are just some more things I've spotted or been shown around campus....

"Bike in Tree"
No idea how it got there or why someone decided to cheap out on a bike lock, but points for originality....thanks to JennyFromTheBlock for this one...

"March of the Cosplayers"

Spotted in the mall amitst the Christmas shoppers, these Naruto characters were just hanging out. I may or may not have followed them through Sears to get a decent shot...

But at the same time a large part of me wanted to don a questly outfit and join them.

"Big Man On Campus"
I just thought the fact that someone at school drives a Smartcar was awesome, not even taking into consideration its wonderful color.

"Triumph at F***ing Pucillo!"
Last day of climbing that god-awful hill to wellness. Peas-n-Carrots and I had to commemorate the occation, seeing as we'd walked together everyday since the begining of the semester. So glad to be done with that class!!!

Sorry About That...

So I realized that I've been absent from this blog from so long that Blogger logged me out. Needless to say I was pretty sad. Anyway, home on break now, so for the time being I guesss I should change my title to 'Krysti Not At College' or 'Krysti At Home' but that just sounds like I live in my parents basement and play video games and eat old pizza all day. Quite the contrary, I live on the top floor, read Harry Potter and quest all day, and eat freshly made pizza quesidillas (recipe later, SOO GOOOD). So I guess I'll just ramble on like I always do, but I decided to start with a shout out to all of those wonderful three readers living in the 717 eaither all the time or just 8 months of the year...

Today, I went to the Amish Country with my family. While in a restraunt, an elderly Amish lady got up and dropped her plate. Her immeadiate response was, "Oh shit!". The entire restraunt went silent. Her husband started praying and her children cried. I love Amish people. MLIA.

Moving on...recently I learned:

• Parents love you a lot more when you leave for four months and come back.
• Driving in snow is not something I plan on engaging in any more than needed. When I'm working I'm saving up all my sick days for any day there's snow and we don't already get a snow day.
• I miss working with kids. I didn't really learn this, but a loving reuniting of two year olds in a Payless reminded me...
• I was meant to go to Hogwarts. And I now have the sweater to prove it. And magically, the silly Muggle cashier only charged me six bucks because he said it was 'out of season' and no longer in their system. Needless to say my Confundus Charm worked perfectly....
• Debit cards are a wonderful invention.
• Supermarker sushi can sometimes beat any TGI Fridays spread...even if you break in to get it.
• TGI Fridays has a terrible security system.
• My wellness teacher is a douche.
• The best feeling in the world is the last Wellness class ever. Climbing the gym's hill for the last time knowing you never again will have to reach the top before 9:00  in the AM.
• My father cannot pick out presents...my poor mother....
• More people should engage in Christmas caroling. And I don't mean just to the elderly. Not that they don't enjoy a rousing chorus of "Jingle Bells" but so do the rest of us.
• Sometimes weather people are right.
• That my schools text alert system does work, as it proved five times today with various weather-related texts that have no bearing on my activites two hours away.
• Plum is the new black this season, add it to your wish lists, it's currently my favorite color.
• I am secretly Neecy Nash.
• I love to Kareoke. But not in front of people or anything like that. Just give me an empty basement, a microphone stand, and Youtube versions of all my favorite Broadway hits and I'm fucking Hannah Montana.
• My secret dream is to be a rockstar. And I don't even care if I were to be a cardboard cutout Disney star, as long as I was a rockstar.
• M-ville has been Zombie-free for almost 155 years. Congrats MUCAZ, you're doin' great girl.
• Kevin Jonas got married today. AKA inside I'm in mourning.
• Voldemort is hiding in Kuwait. Obama, your priorities are all wrong...
• I don't know what I would do if I were in a single. My mouth almost shriveled up and died after not talking to people for two and a half hours...I can't imagine all the time.
• The most valuable thing I learned at college is how to get permenently stuck speaking in a 1800 British peon accent.
• I miss my roomies and hall buddies already...