Moving along, though I do not actually have blisters on my fingers they are all asleep (unlike me) due to my new compulsive habit: computer games, namely Half Life 2. So, in honor of my 8 hours of play time in the last three days (DON'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!) I'm composing two opposing lists.
Things I Can Do In Video Games
But Not In Real Life
But Not In Real Life
- Shoot people
- Kill zombies
- Eat brightly colored mushrooms
- Fly
- Shoot lazers, fire, and/or magic
- Defeat evil monsters/robots/kings/aliens/etc.
- Beat the bejezzus out of people I don't like, or even people I do like!
- Teleport/shoot portals
- Dance well
- Catch pokemon
- Do crazy science experiments
- Be an awesome and questly race (i.e. elves)
- Skip dialogue from people I don't like
- Be a rock star (my lifelong dream, shhhh don't tell anyone)
- Use kickass weaponry (ex: swords, crossbows, rocket launchers....)
- Die and come back
- Find money/jewels/currency lying all around
- Double jump
- 'spolde things!! BOOM!
Things I Can Do In Real Life
But Not In Video Games
- Talk back to people
- Drive cars (steering is so hard in video games!!! except Mario Kart, I'll kick your ass)
- (as a female) Have feasible body proportions
- Stop chasing a princess if that bitch isn't in the first castle
- Do homework (with the exception of The Sims, but seriously? Who does Sims homework?)
- Have real cake
