There are a lot of things wrong with this world. A. Lot. But it's not like you needed me to tell you that. Hell, according to my mom ever since I walked out of the womb (no messy birthing process, I walked out. Ever the classy one.) I've been telling her all the stuff that wrong with the world and how it 'should be done.' So I decided to make an entry of it (as you might be able to tell, as my time NOT at College wanes as do my availablity of interesting subject matter/topics for blog posts. Heck, I might just catch a ride back to school with HB solely so my blog gets more interesting!). Plus, if Sue Sylvester can do it, I figure so can I. So here it is, my first ever list of recently enountered problems with society accompanied by my commentary (of couse) and proposed solution (sidenote: I do realise society has actual real problems, immigration, healthcare, the economy, forign realtions, etc. but I am sad to say that I am nowhere near informed enough to make this blog go political and present a solid argument, so I'm not even going to try. I swear I am not just another teenager blind to everything but MTV and beer pong).
Ugg boots. I've touched on them before, I know, and I won't spend too long on them. But I'm just saying, that $200 for a 'ehh' looking pair of boots that go with nothing? Let me just quickly review what $200 can do instead of buy fugly boots: 4+ tanks of gas, 20 movie tickets (that's sad), 200 cups of McDonald's coffee, about 65 cups of Starbucks coffee, feed two Pakistani children for a year, or get Over 260 delicious school cookies. Just saying.
Kristin Stewart's Acting Skills: well, considering the problem is that this doesn't exist, I can't really propose a solution. Other than sending your Ugg money to Ms. Stewart to get some acting lessons. And, on that note:
Bella Swan: That's right ladies, our ancestors fought tooth and nail to get us equal rights so we can lay down and let a 107 year-old virgin with a disco stick do everything for us. What a role model for young girls. Forget the bicycle, a woman needs a man like Kristin Stewart needs acting lessons, apperently.
Childhood Books Becoming Movies: How are parents supposed to share their favorite childhood books with their kids if they've all been turned into mediocre films? And how are parents supposed to encourage their kids to read if there are no quality classics to read them at bedtime? Everything from Cat in the Hat to Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs has made it to the silver screen. I swear though, if Goodnight Moon becomes a movie I will never go to a movie theatre ever again.
The Lack of Drive-In Movie Theatres: I blame Greece for reminding me what a problem this is. I have never in my life even seen a drive-in, let alone go to one! What better way to bring families together and save the movie industry that resurecting a few of these puppies, charging per carload and popping in a double feature with an 90's nicktoon in between? I'll bring the popcorn.
Ke$ha: You know, that wannabe really hardcore chick that sings that ridiculously addicting song 'Tik Tok' about feeling like P.Diddy and brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels. Although I'm happy that she and other female artists are currently dominating the top of the Billboard chart, I don't really know if that's exactly what I want the next step in equality to be...I mean "Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer/Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here/And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger/But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger"?? I've deffinatly heard worse, but to be the chart topping hit of '09. Possible solutions: burned at the stake, use Ugg money to buy her some class, hire her a new lyricist, someone find the rest of her clothes? Maybe check the last place her dignity was spotted?
Jersey Shore: Oh MTV you've done it again. possible solution: cancelation, brainwash of anyone unfortunate enough to have seen it. Before it's too late! (haha, the headline kills me.)
Not Recycling: I don't care if you believe climate change is man-made, a natural cycle, or caused by killer manatees living on Pluto. Recycling is just flat out better for everyone and is becoming increasingly easier as more and more people start realising that we are not simply living on a flawless, endless reserve of oil. Not to swing your arm that extra 30 to 40 degrees to get your can or bottle to a recycling bin is not only lazy, it's downright shameful. It is quite possibly the easiest way to help the earth, regardless of who or what is causing global warming. Even it is the Plutonian manatees, it can't hurt for them to have a cleaner planet to take over. Possible solutions: sucker-punch non-recyclers in the face, more recycling bins closer and more convieniently located.
That's all I can come up with for now (believe me, it won't be long until I think of even more pressing issues of today's world. Also, I've just discovered how to insert links into my writing so from now on keep your eyes peeled for hidden links filled with all sorts of odds and ends I find surfing the web in my overabundance of spare time. G'night all!
Please excuse the terrible late-night webcam picture...
