Thursday, October 28, 2010

Adventures In the Library

I love old books, like I love reading them, I love their intricate and fucking awesome old-school bindings and embossing, I love their smell, I love sitting in the stacks with them (calm down kids, that's all I'm doin in the stacks ;) ). And the great thing about the campus library is that they specialize in old books. As in, they haven't updated their material in several decades. Great for aesthetics, poor for research. But whatever. These are some gems I found in the Shakespeare section while doing research for a paper.

Fuck yeah, Questin' Shakespearean Style

lol

This is probably the most gorgeous old book I've ever held <3

;) Maybe I'll use this one next time I'm in the stacks. lol
I'll totes be back in library, back in the world of Shakespeare very much, very soon. So look forward to more selected titles soon.

Stall Talk

Once again, the fabulous musings of a generation on the toilet....

Some days the Art Building bathrooms express my feelings better that I ever could.



Damn it Ginny!

This is just a nice sentiment to pee to.

Basically, Dear Abby has struck the library, and is now answering questions on the backs of doors


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How To Live With Zombies [a novella]

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the time of year again, the time when every freshman clutches their marshmellows and quakes in their boots. When every girl wracks her wardrobe to find things that match with orange, and when no honors college kid is safe....oh yes, it's time for the

What the hell is that, you ask? Basically, it's a giant game of tag involving the Zombie Team and the Human Team, where each team's goal is to wipe out the other (Zombies by 'eating' all the humans, humans by outlasting the zombies). Because, as is common zombie-slayer knoweledge, a hungry zombie can only survive for 24 hours without human sustenance. The only defense we poor humans have is marshmallows. Throw one at an attacking zombie and they can't come after you for 10 minutes (so run like hell to a building, they're the only safe zones). So, needless to say, it's quite stressful maintaining your ripe, living human hide on a campus (or in my case a room full) of zombies who, to be quite honest, are usually must faster, sneakier and more strategic than I. However, I'm starting a new list in honor of the first day of Human/Zombie Season (depending on your team)

Innocent Bystanders Who Almost Were Viciously Pelted With Marshmallows
  • Girl with yellow hat on (we wear orange bandannas to indicate status, I though she was playing!)
  • Boy sprinting across quad
  • Dashing Dan, who dashed in my direction and I forgot he wasn't playing
  • Boy walking at brisk pace behind me
  • Girl coming out of Diehm
  • Everyone around the Psych building while I was trying to get to the thesis seminar
  • My reflection in a window
I was also like to issue a semi-sincere (I mean, she is a zombie and therefore the enemy) public apology to Honey B, who ambushed me and got pelted in the throat (my aim is sooo much better than last year). Whoops. However, be it noted that the throat is a fairly efficient way to kill a zombie. Just sayin'. Alas, my friends are turning left and right and I now live with two zombies, and have class with at least one tonight. I fear my time with humanity is drawing to a close. Goodbye cruel world!! (Or maybe not?)

Monday, October 25, 2010

Blast from the Past (Force from the Future?)

So, I've been meaning to post this for some time now, ever since I re-discovered it deep in the recesses of my 'Archives' folder. It's an essay I handed in my senior year of high school at the end of the year as a response to a prompt evaluating the class. Suffice to say that last semester, when Internet went down for a few hours, I rediscovered it, read it, and sent an apology email to my teacher for being so fucking saucy (which lead to him reading my blog. Dunno if he still does; if so HEY SUPPPPEEEE!!!). Please bear in mind before you delete this blog from your favorites bar (where it invariably sits of course) that this teacher and I had a relationship based entirely on mutual love for deep, scathing, sarcastic comments. Which I received just about as much as I gave. However, before I write an entire essay introducing the essay, here is my slightly edited, previously unpublished, 12th grade final English essay.

When I think back on this year in English I have nothing but fond memories. How could one not fall in love with all the rompin’ stompin’ he-man adventures that made-up the first semester of our year? How could ones hands go for a whole day without the devastating desire to copy down three blackboards worth of notes? And how could anyone continue their journey in life without ever viewing the acting wonder that is Gilbert Hyatt? The answer: it would be impossible, unthinkable even. Supe, I thank you for these wonderful experiences you have bestowed upon us, among other things, for without them, I would be living an insufficient life, ignorant of the Shakespearean sonnet form and the dangers of an overactive Id. But, in all seriousness Supe, as much as I bitch and moan, I actually enjoyed this year. There, I said something nice. Don’t get too used to it…


[A. and B. have been omitted due to boring content]
C. Writing: Okay, so here’s where I get to complain. Last year we practically did an essay a day; creative, persuasive, open-ended, everything. This year the only writing we did was for blue books and huge research papers. Nothing creative. I can’t be stifled like that Supe! I’m an informal, creative writer; formality makes me panic-y. I would, however, like to thank you for the blue books you gave because though I may piss and moan at the time about how unfairly difficult your blue books are as compared to the other classes (they get the question in advance and get to use the book during the test…pssh) but I really and honestly think that we were infinitely more prepared than they were, from what I can gather from talking to people in the other classes. [boring content here has been removed]
D. Film: How can I not rave about everyone’s favorite host, Gilbert Hyatt?! His knowledge and pronunciation rocked my view of the Odyssey! How were we all to know that we’d been pronouncing the rompin’-stompin’-he-man’s name wrong for so long?! Other than that, the Troy movie with the decrepit Helen was a visual masterpiece, I mean, clearly that mug would have launched a thousand ships, if not more! I also really liked Harold and Maude, it was really unusual and not really my usual movie choice, but I enjoyed it. I still vote, however, that we should watch the Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom version of Troy when we’re doing the Odyssey; think about it…


E. Grammar Rules: How do I love thee oh grammar, let me count the ways…oh wait, there are none. Thanks for keeping that to a minimum this year, I know how much you love your periods, pronouns, and gerunds.


[F. and G. were also boring. Adios F. and G.]
H. Supe Shtick: I can honestly say I am not really sure what this is, so I don’t know the grounds for its evaluation. I think this is just you fishing around for complements. Nice try, but no.


I. Literary Approach: Three words: BOOK ON TAPE! Listening to the tapes, in addition to being moderately enjoyable, also made sure we read the book and it made a considerable difference for works like Hamlet and Virginia Woolf. [more omitted content here lol]
J. AP Exam: Really, I wasn’t impressed. I almost all the multiple choice questions were fairly simple, easier than what we did in class, as were the essays. Of course, I blanked completely on all literary works with any symbolism, but I also had the chance to apply a lot of themes and concepts that we learned this year (ex: escape from prelapsarian bliss).
K. Term Paper Masterpiece: Oh, what a hellish assignment. I’m leaving and you probably won’t read this until I’m long gone, so I’m saying it. I hated that project! It was long and difficult and annoying. I hated my primary fiction book and it was hard as hell to find sources of criticism for them. And even when I did find criticism I didn’t know how to apply it. All around nightmare. I do, however, wish to thank you for letting me do fiction to fiction, because I loved Slaughterhouse Five and am glad I got a chance to read it.


L. Anything else: Supe, as sarcastic and insulting as this note may sound, I would honestly like to tell you – no sarcasm – that I enjoyed your class (though you’ll never get me to admit it again, let alone in public and out loud). From talking to kids in other AP 12 classes I feel like we did way more work at a better pace and covered everything important in a timely manner and in time for the AP test. I feel like your class was (usually) the right balance of work and joking around (not that there isn’t room for improvement in that ratio…specifically towards the joking around side). But, like I said, I bitched and moaned and threw sarcastic comments at you all year, but I also learned and ‘grew as a writer’ (I couldn’t think of a less cliche way to phrase that) and I thank you for both years of English. They were…an experience…to say the least. I won’t say adios, ‘cause I might be back here eventually, student teaching (if you’ll even take another student teacher after Blitzkrieg Bop turned out to be a flop…).

God I was such a little fucking shit as a student in this class. Haha, looking back although a huge a pain in the ass and way more difficult that Western Lit ever could hope to be, this was a solid class - AP 12. But honestly, hindsight is 20/20. And if, in fact, Supe is still lurking on this page, I still mean every word on this page. Compliments too...

Thought you'd all enjoy a little pre-blog writing. I've really 'grown as a writer' right? Bahah bullshit I could have cranked that out yesterday, I still am a smart-ass, stream of consiousness, hot-mess when it comes to informal writing....oh well, some things never change.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

.

Do what makes you happy.
Be with the people who make you smile
Laugh as much as you breathe.
Love as long as you life.

And fuck everything else.

Honestly, that's about all I've got left in me to pass to on you all. P&B.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Shit I Deal With

So, I'm in charge of a parade float in our community's parade (I'm being ambiguous to avoid naming-names) but basically its semi-mandatory for freshman and none of them signed up so a fairly firm email went out by powers higher than myself telling them to email me to sign up. And let me tell you, the sauce those frosh have in 'em could season all the pasta in UD. Allow me to demonstrate. (Please note: these are the first emails I am getting from them and do not know any of them)

Miss Krysti [my last name, but removed for my privacys sake],

I am contacting you because I would like to sign up to participate in the parade, seeing as it is
mandatory. I have no boots, cowboy hat, nor bandanna.
Yes, 'Miss.' Of course I signed my reply that way. And addressed him/her with Mister/Miss as well. For formalities sake. Of course.
Kristi,

I do not have a cowboy hat or bandana for the parade on Saturday.
Not like my names at the top and bottom of every email I send.
Hi there,

I guess i'm supposed to sign up for the parade. i don't have a cowboy hat. So i guess i'll need that.
I guess so.
Hi,

I'm [insert name], and I'll participate in the parade on Saturday morning.
I have all the necessary apparel except for a cowboy hat.
[insert higher power] emailed everyone and made it sound like this experience was quite mandatory, so I'm 'signing up'.
Note the superfluous quotations marks?

This is gonna be one fun-ass parade. (lol, this makes me laugh because I can't help but thinking of Esmeralda's move-the-dash-over-one trick....)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I Hate People Who

  • walk slow
  • spell my name incorrectly on emails that I sign my name on
  • mix up there/their/they're
  • look down on me for swearing
  • push religion down others throats
  • push politics down others throats
  • proclaim they've heard every song on the radio months before it 'got big'
  • aren't organized
  • don't answer emails
  • never empty their voicemail boxes so I can't leave messages
  • don't listen to my messages
  • misuse your/you're
  • are bros
  • use shorthand for words that's the same length as the word itself
  • ignore me
  • don't recycle, especially if the trash can and recycling bin are next to each other
  • don't open the shutters when its light outside
  • wear Uggs. with anything
  • don't hate anyone (*cough* roommate *cough*)
  • incompetent people
  • smart people who act like idiots
  • stupid people who act smart
  • are sluts
  • leave food in the sink and hair in the shower
  • are douchbags
  • who can't make decisions
  • are forgetful
  • people who haven't watched 'Star Wars'
  • smoke cigarettes!!!!!!!!!
  • cause drama
  • put their contacts in in front of me
  • sit next to you when there are other open seats
  • don't post facebook statuses!!
  • sit in front of me in the movies so I can't put my feet up
  • leave their walls black (spice it up a bit!!)
  • don't dress up and get hype for midnight movies and Halloween
  • leave public spaces a mess
  • don't hold doors
  • frown on me for watching cartoons
  • don't know Disney movies
  • can't cut straight with scissors
  • don't empty trash cans when they're full

Just For Shiggles

So, just because it's worthy, and because it has its very own embed-thing just for blogs:

everyone should shoot over to threadless and put a little love in the checkbox to vote for a fabulous shirt design by a trendy new designer, who is deserving of some blog-airtime.

Score this design: "Sapientias," to help it get printed on Threadless!

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Now, all you need to do is click that big ol' 5!

Monday, October 18, 2010

In Honor Of My Newly Rediscovered Love of Art

So, as I discussed last night, art and I are back in love, and going stronger than ever. We just spent too much time together and needed a bit of a break. As with any healthy relationship. But we've found each other once more, and in honor of that, an art posting.

These are all the art-related links I've been stockpiling for ages with the intent of doing an art post. So enjoy. People and their ideas are amazing. From the largest building-side mural to the tiniest bathroom stall doodle.

Pick some words that appeal to you and enjoy!!

Speed.                         Mind-Blowing.              Toilet Paper.

Tiny Worlds.              Tricksy.                Imperial Domination. (hint: click this, of course it appeals to you)

Gamer.                      Dedication. (Truly amazing)            RHOMBUS!


Really, you should consider looking at them all, but lets face it, you're busy people. Looking to procrastinate, which explains your being here. And lets be honest, at least you're getting some form of culture here. As opposed to say...sporcle (talk about addictions!! if you've never been, DON'T GO YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE!) So enjoy these links. I haven't been dumping any lately.I figure the poor guy hasn't been getting any from Zelda so its the least I can do (and no, these terrible Zelda puns will never end. Ever. Grab your ocarina and get used to it).

Peace out cub scouts!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

You Don't Know What You've Got Until It's Gone

Damn it, it makes me mad how true that sentiment is. Like, sometimes there are just things you don't want to miss, and you don't want to think about how great they were. You just want to let things go and let bygones be bygones, ya know? Take tonight, for example. The art building and I have become quite intimately acquainted this weekend, spending long hours together, late at night....it's like I'm having an affair. And tonight, after a particularly quick and messy rendezvous (yes, I'm going there. You know you like it ;]) I left, feeling quite happy and actually regretting that this was probably my last studio class. Last semester, studios were the death of me- not that I love them this semester- but now there's always fun people in the print studio, and people's Pandora's are always playing music I love, and they're so much more light and fun than they ever were. People are always around to offer critiques or swap techniques with, compare music, or give opinions on professors or classes. Just in the past weekend alone I've met and chatted with so many others - slaves to the art department (I would say kindred spirits, but we've sold our souls to the department already) and I'm actually enjoying the time I'm spending working on my prints. And I sketch all the time now! I never kept a sketchbook until I left the major. How fucked up is that!? Of course my secret, latent love of art would emerge once I've filled out the final papers for a one way ticket to Quitsville, USA (apparently whose population is on the rise...). *Sigh* Not that I regret or don't treasure my re-surfacing love of art. In fact, that's the reason I switched majors. If I'm drawing/painting/sculpting/printing it's because I want to. And I've found something that's inspired me to do so. Not because I need to, have been assigned to, or told to. I hate time lines, I hate deadlines, I hate being rushed when I'm drawing. If I'm excited about something I'll do it. If not, I'll procrastinate like it's my job. So I guess I'm glad for my rediscovery. Because for a while, quite honestly, I forgot why I was doing it. I forgot why I would ever draw if not being graded. Why create for no one? When in all honesty, the best type of creation is one done for yourself. That you do whenever you want, show to whoever you want, and do whatever you want with. It's a glorious feeling.

So maybe that's it then, maybe to regain that feeling of love and affection you once had for something, you've got to get away from it. Maybe that god-awful feeling of missing things, or people, is what causes us to come running back to give them a giant bear hug. And you know what? If it's worth it to you, whatever that something is that you let go will welcome you back with open arms. Trust me, I've seen it happen.

Babe, this is for you. You know who you are <3

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What The Hell Is She Talking About?!

So, I have a lot of style obsessions, many of which are pretty hardcore nerdy and tricky explain to normal people with normal interest ranges. So I figure I'll throw a little counterculture into your otherwise very sane and normal lives. If you know me, have gone to a Comic Con with me, have ever talked to me or watch Project Runway with me you might recognise some of these things...

Krysti's Current Style Obsessions:
(there are really only two...but I'll make it seem like a list)

Pin-Up: A pin-up girl, also known as a pin-up model, is a model whose mass-produced pictures see wide appeal as popular culture. Pin-ups are intended for informal display. Pin-up girls may be glamor models, fashion models, and actresses. The term pin-up may also refer to drawings, paintings, and other illustrations done in emulation of these photos (see the list of pinup artists). The term was first attested to in English in 1941;however, the practice is documented back at least to the 1890s. Many pin-ups were photographs of celebrities who were considered sex symbols. One of the most popular early pin-up girls was Betty Grable. Her poster was ubiquitous in the lockers of G.I.'s during World War II. Other pin-ups were artwork, often depicting idealized versions of what some thought a particularly beautiful or attractive woman should look like. (Wikipedia0
I think what I love most about the pinup style is that pinup models weren't like today's models in one major way; CURVES. Pinup girls were made of something other than carrot sticks and spearmint gum, yet they still flaunted what their mama's gave'em and adorned the lockers of GI's everywhere. I also absolutely ADORE the stereotypical Pin Up color scheme: red, black, and white. Polka dots. High waists and even higher hemlines. A-dorable. All I need is a pair of cute red flats to complete my ever-growing red accessories collection (hair bow, necklace, belt, sunglasses, purse....)


Recognise this Super Heroine?
Steampunk: A fan made subculture that emphasises the Neo-Victorian aesthetic. A world of steam engines, clockworks, polished brass and unpolished leather. Signature piece - goggles (DeviantArt) 
UGH!! This is and has been for so long my favorite style EVER. And I always struggle to explain this to people who don't know what I'm talking about. This style is actually the reason for this posting, I found a pretty solid definition of the style and needed to share it with the world. Or, at least the world of people most likely to interact with me. Because it's truly a beautiful thing, in a super-nerdy, geeks-created-this-just-to-dress-up sort of way. But for real. Google image this and you get absolutely insane results. It's everything I love about Victorian styling plus gears (which I freaking love. Why? No idea. Aesthetically they just appeal to me.) Honestly, anything you can think of has been steampunked, Star Wars, Superheros, guitars, etc.


Monday, October 11, 2010

The Bitches On Top and How They Got There

I love you all, sorry I never write anymore!! Keeping a blog is tricky if you're out of practice!! But hopefully this makes up for it at least a little. If not, please direct your angry comments to the comment box. Particularly since this post might be a temper-raiser. <3

So, my dear Bosom Buddy (BB) and I were discussing life the universe and everything as we strolled through a particularly shady area of Long Island the other night (OMG another Con, more about that later). And we were talking about how, both of us being fairly strong-willed, saucy kids, we get assumed to be bitches pretty often (there is much truth to this statement, but its validity is not the point). And we decided that for girls (at least in terms of interacting with guys) there's not much middle ground. You're either a bitch, if you throw their insults, snide comments, and sexual innuendos right back at them, or you're a ditz if you sit there and take all their crap while giggling and slapping at their shoulders. I mean, what's a girl to do? The girls who sit there and just giggle or swat at the offending male kind of make me sick, Jesus Christ women died for your rights and here you are, less gumption and personality than a bowl of peanuts. Which really leaves one alternative (well two, but I don't really know how many Amazonian colonies there are left in the world, let alone how to find one...) which is to saucy right back and be labeled a condescending jerk. The more BB and I thought about it, the more we fine-tuned our theory. I mean, think about it. The back-sassing bitches go on to fly solo, powering through the workforce, becoming CEOs and successful single business women until after they've established themselves maybe (just maybe) they'll start looking for someone who'll put up with them. And the ditzes go on to flirt and shoulder-smack their way into the heart of some guy (oh, don't worry, we have a theory on the double-standard of men too...) where they will proceed to raise a family and work a little here and there and have a white picket fence etc. Granted these are kind of extreme, but I think that every woman you'll ever meet will be one of these two types. Yes, there are successful ditz and yes, there are happily married, homemaking bitches, but for the most part I feel like our theory holds some water. Particularly now that women's rights are a big deal again. Equal pay for equal work, that sort of thing. Which is not only fantastic, but a long time coming. However, at the same time, you've got to wonder what that's doing to women. We're taking the super-stereotypical roles of both sexes (men: breadwinners, workers; women: homemakers, caretakers) and redistributing them so that now a woman can be a bread winning, care taking, homemaking, worker. Which leaves some men who take on the other side willingly and take care of kids and be homemakers, but the vast majority do not. Leaving the bitches to do all the work and tend to be a bit saucy about it. In terms of men (when dealing with women) there are basically the majority (douchbags) and the semi-minority (nice guys). Basically, all the nice guys spend their days having assumptions being made about them and being called names by their homophobic counterparts. Which then drives all the nice guys who may have self-confidence issues (which is many of them, seeing as they still have a soul and a great deal of humanity in them, causing them to feel emotional pain unlike their fellows) either into seclusion for fear of people's assumptions or to become more like douchbags to fit in. Leaving a very small population of human-fearing nice guys and a very large population of d-bags in the dating pool. Meaning that all the ditzes usually end up with the d-bags while the bitches wait around long enough to find and drag a nice guy out of his human-fearing corner. Again, both these are extremes, but I feel like most girls and guys (in my age gap) fit somewhere along the spectrum. Humanity's awesome, right!?

You know what's funny, this theory was constructed mere days after I decided not to judge people because judging only leads to drama and if there's one thing I am literally panic-attack afraid of (other than eyes, being absent, 3D, and death) it's drama. Let it be known to all those three people who are reading this: DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT (as long as you're not hurting yourself or others) I DON'T CARE (I mean, I do care, and some things I'd rather you not do, but who am I to tell you what's right or wrong?? That's what that large concentration of nerve endings between your ears is for.)

Heavy stuff, someone has to have a reaction, LEAVE ME COMMENTS!! Hate-mail, fan-mail, drug-induced wonderings, concerns for my sanity, therapists' calling cards, WHATEVER!