[AUTHORS NOTE: I just found this post, half finished and saved as a draft, so I finished it. Please ignore any inconsistancies between the begining and end of the story lol]
ACT I
Scene 1: Begin with a view of one of the protagonist's (HIM or HER) either unrealistically perfect life or impossibly terrible life. HE or SHE will most likely be shown ending a previous relationship because the ex is a terrible, horrible person who either is very flawed or finds 'stupid' flaws in the protagonist. Enter BEST FRIEND who will crack jokes at characters expense (if HIM) or suggest junk food and clubbing (if HER).
Scene 2: Some time later BEST FRIEND gets tried of character being huge fucking Debbie downer about the breakup and suggests GIMMICK or CRAZY SCENARIO to get antagonist out to meet men/women. Desperate protagonist overwhelmingly unstable mental state due to breakup, BEST FRIEND forces them into some setting that it probably awful for them to be in, most likely because BEST FRIEND is in a dry spell and wants some action but since they have no other friends are forced to use the jaded, depressed protagonist as their wingman/DD. BEST FRIEND goes home alone, while protagonist meets someone (LOVE INTEREST) under some sort of FALSE PRETENSES (obviously) is some comically adorable way that never happens in real life. [NOTE: One can identify the LOVE INTEREST by the soft indie music that plays in the background, the prolonged camera shots on either parties faces, and the barely noticeable slow motion shots).
Scene 3: Protagonist continues denying their feelings for LOVE INTEREST while seeing them everywhere and constant harassment from BEST FRIEND. Some form of RIVAL - who is clearly morally flawed and inferior to the protagonist, but only audience know this, the LOVE INTEREST is clearly blind to it - is introduced as the protagonist creeps more and more on the LOVE INTEREST.
Scene 4: Repeat. Protagonist will at some point run into LOVE INTEREST in some cutesy adorable situation where the Protagonist will most likely drop something. In really comedic romance movies it will probably be on the LOVE INTEREST.
Scene 5: Denial stage is over, broken by some passionate, forward move on the part of one or both parties. [NOTE: what if there was a romantic comedy where this move was actually just a horrible misreading of signs on the part of the protagonist who then gets completely and utterly shut down and the movie ends. Oh well, I suppose that's why I don't actually write scripts].
ACT II
Scene 1: The couple spends several days/weeks/months in complete and total lovestruck bliss (bullshit) marked by long romantic montages of completely unrealistic and romantic things that every teenage girl or divorced woman in the audience is now evaluating all future relationships against (spoiler alert ladies: welcome to Hollywood fabrication....)
Scene 2: Montage continues, to the chagrin of all males, and the more realistic females, in the audience.
Scene 3: You guessed it, the perfection continues... *vomit*
Scene 4: Oh shit, due to carelessness on the part of either the protagonist or the BEST FRIEND the GIMMICK that you forgot the protagonist used to get the guy/girl way back in ACT 1 Scene 2. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the part where everything that is fundamentally wrong with people and relationships is dragged kicking and screaming into the movie. This is the part audience can (if the GIMMICK isn't too crazy) relate to and get even more sucked into the plot line.
Scene 5: This is the comedic part of the romantic comedy where we just see both parties drop into a downward spiral of loneliness that every person in the audience, male or female, gay straight or bacon can relate to. Cue entry of BEN & JERRY. It is at this point the aforementioned RIVAL makes their move.
Scene 6: Protagonist goes over to apologise and witnesses RIVAL making move on LOVE INTEREST (most likely to the soundtrack of boos and hisses from the audience). LOVE INTEREST either outright rejects the RIVAL or agrees to go out on a date with them. Either way, the protagonist spots them swapping spit with RIVAL and are further heartbroken.
Scene 7: Sad music montage for protagonist (boo-fucking-woo, don't look to me for sympathy, we all know you're getting him/her back) Shots of both parties desperately missing one another.
Scene 8: Some epic reuniting including one or more of the following elements: A. a kiss in the rain B. comic violence towards RIVAL C. some crazy circumstance D. slow motion E. long, sappy, unrealistic expressions of love F. a sunset.
Fin
Damn, no wonder there are so many stupid romantic comedies! They're so easy to write! Now all I need is a couple big celebrities to star as couple and a couple D listers to round out the cast!
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