The Bitches On Top and How They Got There

I love you all, sorry I never write anymore!! Keeping a blog is tricky if you're out of practice!! But hopefully this makes up for it at least a little. If not, please direct your angry comments to the comment box. Particularly since this post might be a temper-raiser. <3

So, my dear Bosom Buddy (BB) and I were discussing life the universe and everything as we strolled through a particularly shady area of Long Island the other night (OMG another Con, more about that later). And we were talking about how, both of us being fairly strong-willed, saucy kids, we get assumed to be bitches pretty often (there is much truth to this statement, but its validity is not the point). And we decided that for girls (at least in terms of interacting with guys) there's not much middle ground. You're either a bitch, if you throw their insults, snide comments, and sexual innuendos right back at them, or you're a ditz if you sit there and take all their crap while giggling and slapping at their shoulders. I mean, what's a girl to do? The girls who sit there and just giggle or swat at the offending male kind of make me sick, Jesus Christ women died for your rights and here you are, less gumption and personality than a bowl of peanuts. Which really leaves one alternative (well two, but I don't really know how many Amazonian colonies there are left in the world, let alone how to find one...) which is to saucy right back and be labeled a condescending jerk. The more BB and I thought about it, the more we fine-tuned our theory. I mean, think about it. The back-sassing bitches go on to fly solo, powering through the workforce, becoming CEOs and successful single business women until after they've established themselves maybe (just maybe) they'll start looking for someone who'll put up with them. And the ditzes go on to flirt and shoulder-smack their way into the heart of some guy (oh, don't worry, we have a theory on the double-standard of men too...) where they will proceed to raise a family and work a little here and there and have a white picket fence etc. Granted these are kind of extreme, but I think that every woman you'll ever meet will be one of these two types. Yes, there are successful ditz and yes, there are happily married, homemaking bitches, but for the most part I feel like our theory holds some water. Particularly now that women's rights are a big deal again. Equal pay for equal work, that sort of thing. Which is not only fantastic, but a long time coming. However, at the same time, you've got to wonder what that's doing to women. We're taking the super-stereotypical roles of both sexes (men: breadwinners, workers; women: homemakers, caretakers) and redistributing them so that now a woman can be a bread winning, care taking, homemaking, worker. Which leaves some men who take on the other side willingly and take care of kids and be homemakers, but the vast majority do not. Leaving the bitches to do all the work and tend to be a bit saucy about it. In terms of men (when dealing with women) there are basically the majority (douchbags) and the semi-minority (nice guys). Basically, all the nice guys spend their days having assumptions being made about them and being called names by their homophobic counterparts. Which then drives all the nice guys who may have self-confidence issues (which is many of them, seeing as they still have a soul and a great deal of humanity in them, causing them to feel emotional pain unlike their fellows) either into seclusion for fear of people's assumptions or to become more like douchbags to fit in. Leaving a very small population of human-fearing nice guys and a very large population of d-bags in the dating pool. Meaning that all the ditzes usually end up with the d-bags while the bitches wait around long enough to find and drag a nice guy out of his human-fearing corner. Again, both these are extremes, but I feel like most girls and guys (in my age gap) fit somewhere along the spectrum. Humanity's awesome, right!?

You know what's funny, this theory was constructed mere days after I decided not to judge people because judging only leads to drama and if there's one thing I am literally panic-attack afraid of (other than eyes, being absent, 3D, and death) it's drama. Let it be known to all those three people who are reading this: DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT (as long as you're not hurting yourself or others) I DON'T CARE (I mean, I do care, and some things I'd rather you not do, but who am I to tell you what's right or wrong?? That's what that large concentration of nerve endings between your ears is for.)

Heavy stuff, someone has to have a reaction, LEAVE ME COMMENTS!! Hate-mail, fan-mail, drug-induced wonderings, concerns for my sanity, therapists' calling cards, WHATEVER!