Monday, January 31, 2011

I GOT BLISTAHS ON MY FINGAHS!!!!

First off: bonus points to whoever can tell me where that title is from WITHOUT WIKIPEDIA.

Moving along, though I do not actually have blisters on my fingers they are all asleep (unlike me) due to my new compulsive habit: computer games, namely Half Life 2. So, in honor of my 8 hours of play time in the last three days (DON'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!) I'm composing two opposing lists.

Things I Can Do In Video Games
But Not In Real Life

  • Shoot people
  • Kill zombies
  • Eat brightly colored mushrooms
  • Fly
  • Shoot lazers, fire, and/or magic
  • Defeat evil monsters/robots/kings/aliens/etc.
  • Beat the bejezzus out of people I don't like, or even people I do like!
  • Teleport/shoot portals
  • Dance well
  • Catch pokemon
  • Do crazy science experiments
  • Be an awesome and questly race (i.e. elves)
  • Skip dialogue from people I don't like
  • Be a rock star (my lifelong dream, shhhh don't tell anyone)
  • Use kickass weaponry (ex: swords, crossbows, rocket launchers....)
  • Die and come back
  • Find money/jewels/currency lying all around
  • Double jump
  • 'spolde things!! BOOM!
Things I Can Do In Real Life
But Not In Video Games
  • Talk back to people
  • Drive cars (steering is so hard in video games!!! except Mario Kart, I'll kick your ass)
  • (as a female) Have feasible body proportions
  • Stop chasing a princess if that bitch isn't in the first castle
  • Do homework (with the exception of The Sims, but seriously? Who does Sims homework?)
  • Have real cake

3 comments:

  1. helter skelter. duh.

    sincerely,
    lande

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) when I wrote that, I knew you'd be the one to get it <3 that's why we're married

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE THISSSSS


    and YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

    i was silent laughing during my earth 100 class as I read it (turns out I didn't actually go to Mars) and it was awwwkward

    <3 at stop chasing that princess bitch

    loooveee,

    T.eam. R.ocket.

    ReplyDelete