Ten(ish) Commandments of Facebook

1. Thou shall have other social networking sites besides me but all must be linked back to me.
2. Thou shall not have a MySpace.
3. Honor thy father and mother - by not being their friend.
4. Thou shall not 'poke' thy best friend's boyfriend.
5. Thou shall only chose a profile picture with friends if the friends deem it A. 'CUTEEEE XXXD' B. 'hawt' or C. hilarious (as indicated by number of 'lols' posted)
6. Thou shall update thy status reflecting any and all relationship developments.
7. Thou shall acquire as many friends as humanly possible. Including, but not limited to: family, neighbors, fellow club members, old classmates, current classmates, exes, friends exes, ex's friends, cashier at the CVS, that guy from your kindergarten class who made binoculars out of two paper towel rolls and lives in Tuscon..* not an original joke.
8. Thou shalt not 'like' thine neighbors breakup.
9. Thou shalt not update thine status unless the information is new, relevant, or witty. Thou shalt not post an agenda of thine daily activities nor irrelevant and uninteresting details of ones life.
10. Thou shalt not shamelessly promote thine cousin/neighbor/roomate/uncle's band.
11. Thou shall honor thy Facebook before checking email, playing Tetris, online quizzes, or homework of any kind.
12. Thou shall be a fan of Starkid and Lady Gaga.
13. Thou shalt not bombard thine friends with stupid invitations or requests. (Farmville! Mafia Wars! I'm talking to you!)
14. Thou shalt not go though my wall posts/statuses/pictures whilst at the computer next to me 'liking' every activity (SALAD - this means you!)
15. Thou shalt not let any information gathered on Facebook slip whilst in casual conversation with a good looking stranger.