TFML: Texts From My Life

These are the texts that have been given the honor of being saved in my phone..in no particular order. Spot yours?

"Never get drunk krysti. this girl in my lab group did and got a tattoo of the dark mark on the back of her neck. u would totally do it."
"i just drove past your street today and almost cried. though you should know."
"My mother has a lady gaga cd in the car. i don't know how i should feel about this."
"smells like cigarettes and bad decisions"
"I spilled 5thel 5th.be alll over myrifile g'il sorry"
"Are you a dementor because you just took my breath away."
"i wanna take a ride on your disco stick"
"true life we're gargoyles."
"i decided im only going to give it to him once he reads the 7th harry potter book"
"ugh i miss you so much its burned a hole in my stomach lining/wizard pancreas"
"if you have a tiara, wear it."

i <3 my life.