Speech Ideas

So, I've been hearing a lot about how horrible Honors Speech will be for me next semester, seeing as the majority of my hall is currently enrolled and how it has single handedly reduced sleep in Diehm by 78%. So, in order to attempt to restrict the hold the dreaded class will have on me I've decided to brainstorm some ideas for topics:

• Why Valentine’s Day should be banned as a holiday (if you love someone you should show them every day...
• Why Pokémon was completely ruined after they expanded from the original 150.
• Why JK Rowling should/should not have written the epilogue after Deathly Hallows (I'll have to re-re-re-re-read it before passing judgment).
• Why Jacob Black is a marginally better choice for Bella than Edward Cullen is.
• Why Uggs are not only the cause of 78% of heinous fashion crimes but should also be banned due to misuse by sluts.
• Why leggings should not function as pants (unless a dire emergency occurs mid-changing, a shirt worn with leggings should AT MINIMUS come to mid-thigh. Don't even fight me on this, I know I'm right).
• Why Eowen is nothing but a home wrecking slut in LOTR (take that Peas-n-Carrots!).
• Why all people should go through a mid-life Quest, rather than a mid-life crisis.
• Why schools should eliminate nomathetic testing.
• Why schools should keep art programs despite budget cuts.
• Why creamy peanut butter is far superior to chunky (point one: Johnny Depp prefers creamy, check out Secret Window).
• Why living at college (if possible) is a great experience, and staying on weekends as much as possible adds marginally to that.
• Why everyone should read the Harry Potter series.
• Why we should start charging people to use plastic bags.
• Why we should stop wasting money on Smartboards in schools, seeing as they are (mostly) useless.
• Why Ms. Rowling should have kept her big, fat (genius) mouth shut about Dumbledore's sexual orientation.
• Why cleaning ladies are hired.
• Why rain boots should be standard issue here.

There are just a few of my many ideas. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm starting a list now because from the looks of it I'm going to need all the help I can get next semester...