Grab Bag

So I've been trying to think of a blog post topic for like ever now, and all I can manage is small, one liners that I can't/don't feel like developing into full posts. So, here's kinda what my life would sound like if I had a twitter I suppose.

• Do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that you're not individual at all, but a composite of everything you think others want you to be?
• Ever notice how much gratification from the other sex (or the same sex - honey that's fine, you were born that way) means to you? It kind of bothers me how much it does actually.
• Confidence is tricky. You have to be careful not to have too much or too little, but in just the right amount it's so freakin sexy. On the one hand, why value what others think of you? But on the other, self worth is kind of like money, its not really worth anything if everyone else doesn't think so...
• One of the worst side effects of technology is the ease of avoiding people we don't want to talk to, leaving them panicking about what they did wrong that doesn't merit a response from you.
• I think the reason I'm hesitant to make a decision in my belief in love is that I don't like the idea of someone having so much subconscious control over me. I'm pretty sure if I get right down to it, I don't think I have the confidence in myself (I guess these ramblings do have a little theme going on...) to accept that someone else would want to fill the role of the other party in said relationship. Not that I'm not somewhat confident ("Krysti" you're probably saying "you write a fucking blog about your boring-ass life. I think you're pretty full of yourself." "huh aren't you saucy!" i reply) and I think one of my okay qualities is that I've more or less come to terms with who I am (not that I have any really outstanding hardships in identity to overcome). And I don't say this in a 'I'm-going-to-be-a-lonely-cat-lady-forever' way, just in a realistic way: I can't picture myself in a relationship because I don't know who the fuck out there I would even come close to being compatible with.
• Oh, also, recently decided I'm absolutely having cats as an adult. I guess this is already a warning sign of my future....
• I'm also kind of saucy because there was this kind of adorable kid in the laundry room the other day who was just chillaxin there with me and gave me his dryer and looked totally up for some random 1am laundry room chatting and I totally missed that opportunity. *sigh* Which goes against what I was saying in the other bullet point a little but hey, me contradicting myself? Like that's a first...
• I'm much to selfish to have kids of my own. I think it's a valuable thing for me to know this though, because if I were to have children I know for a fact I'd want to give not only the world to them, but the whole damn solar system (Pluto included - you'll always be a planet to me buddy <3) and I just don't think I really want to do that. I want to make use of my (hopefully) degree. I want to travel. I want to live for me, visit friends whenever I want, stay out all night, go to Comic Conventions, and move at the drop of a hat. None of this is conducive to being a parent. So basically I'm in the market for an awesome roommate/travel buddy, I suppose.
• Cell phones: the great equalizer. Now men and women are equally as poor drivers and ignore each other equally as efficiently.

I hope some of these mini-posts will be enough to hold you guys over for at least a little while cause the rest of this semester is going to be madness let-me-tell-you. Good thing I found out about Monster because I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be releasing my inner Monster several more times this semester. But I'll try my hardest to drop in over here and say something random to make you smile as often as I can. Cause I'm not gonna lie, as stupid as the contents of this blog are, its my favorite thing ever. Basically I get to just ramble on about anything and everything and people tell me it makes them smile and they check it all the time. You people are so wonderful in that regard. Because let's face it, deep down I am such a goddamn attention whore, but I try my best not to be, so this is my one little space out in the interwebz where it is literally all about me. And....it's WONDERFUL.

<3goodnight kiddles, sweet and adventurous dreams my dears!

That Drink is a MONSTER

Okay honeys. Today I was introduced to the most wonderful and terrible substance on the planet. And no, its not alcohol or anything illegal. Today, ladies, gentlemen, and non gender conformers (Sheik...I'm talking to you) I had a Monster.

For those of you unfamiliar with our caffinated friend here, basically if you took a can of gasoline, threw it in a blender with old beer, a shot of orange kool-aid, and a cup of powered caffeine you get a Monster energy drink. These puppies can be commonly found in the hands of sleep deprived people, college students, and ravers (that was kind of repetitive, wasn't it?) and most recently: my belly. HOLY MOLEY.

Let. Me. Tell. You. (Mrs. B <3) I drank this thing four hours ago, so my buzz has died down pretty significantly, but before it did I left quite a few voicemails, a facebook video, and had a 30 minute straight one-sided conversation with my roommate. Maybe it was the lack of food in my stomach (I don't know if the same rules for alcohol apply with energy drinks?) but Holy mother of hyperactivity Batman! I was bouncing off the goddamn WALLS. Literally everything I said was at double speed, I made so many lists, danced my way across campus to rehearsal, texted in all caps for two hours, and just PACED. I was so out of control. Oh my lordie. In retrospect I should have just written some long hyper random blog post for you guys but from what I hear, the voicemails and videos left were pretty funny as well, just for their respective audience rather than the general public. Whatever. Now that I've gotten started some of the jitters are starting to come back, not gonna lie.

I suppose I should have a point to writing this ("oh good, something new and different for you" you say, "stfu" I say), so I'll make it a product review. As far as taste is concerned, it tastes exactly like you would guess from my prior description. But once you drink it for a little bit the taste kind of burns itself on your tongue and you kind of become numb to it. It looks, tastes, and smells gross but damn it all to hell IT WORKS. My recommendation is to wait until the inevitable and the Monster truck (literally a small monster truck with the Monster logo on it) comes to your campus (keep an eye out around finals/any major events on campus) - trust me, if it comes here I'm sure it comes to your school - grab one, try one. But I'm putting it out there right now. DO NOT TRY TO FUNCTION FOR HOURS AFTER.

Awesomeness - Videofied

So, you've probably heard of On the Rocks, though you may not know it. They're the men's acapella group whose 'Bad Romance' cover went viral (there's that word again! whoops!). Why? BECAUSE IT'S PHENOMENAL! I don't know why I haven't already posted it (maybe I have, I forget things a lot...) but if you haven't seen it - WATCH (first video is the original, the second is a fancy high-faluten official one). They're amazing and basically this combines all my loves into one:
1. acapella music <3
2. Lady Gaga
3. Suspenders (omg I LOVE SUSPENDERS - have I mentioned that? I think they're ADORABLE)
4. Guys singing

Just a Hot Second of Your Time...For My Sake

So, I don't claim to be super 1000% politically involved at all times, but I try and do my part to the things closest to my heart (the environment, gay rights, education reform, you know, that liberal agenda stuff). And this issue is not only close to my heart its actually the solid my heart lives on 9 months out of the year, the soil many of the people close to my heart live on, and the solid under thousands of deserving, wonderful people. PA state government is proposing budget cuts to higher education, in some reports by up to 50%. Now, I don't know if you knew this, but I go to a PA state school (so if you like me or my blog, right there is enough reason to sign). Not only that, cutting school funding in times of economic stress is THE WORST thing you can do. Hmm, to get ourselves out of recession lets make sure that the next generation of citizens is even more incompetent, uneducated and lazy! Great idea! Anyway, I'll hop off my soap box in the hopes that if you're cool enough to have found this blog, and you're awesome enough to stick with me that you value my education and the education of hundreds of thousands of others across the state who deserve (and in many cases work their ass off to afford and to get) a good education. The online petition can be found here:

http://coalitionpastudents.com/signpetition.html

There's also a group on facebook, so if you care, sign. If you care a lot, sign and send it to all your friends/family/pseudo-facebook friends/everyone you know. Thanks kiddles for helping change the world, one rambly blog post at a time.

Guilty Pleasures

Alright, I'm kinda grasping at straws here for material, so here's the best GLaDOS could come up with in terms of topics. Since he's too chicken to write a guest post (oh yeah bitch, gauntlet hath been thrown) this is what I'm writing...

Guilty Pleasures

a la Krysti

1. Terrible pop music (Ke$ha, I'm lookin' at you...)
2. Starburst jellybeans
3. "Sonny with a Chance" on Disney Channel (THAT SHOW IS SO FUCKING GREAT DON'T EVEN GIMME SHIT)
4. Pretending I can sing
5. Dressing in costume (if you consider this 'guilty')
6. Eating leftovers late at night
7. Buying Converses on ridiculous sale
8. Tetris
9. Writing fan-fic (back in the day, back in the day.....) 
10. Reading fan fic
11. "Say Yes to the Dress"
12. The Jonas Brothers
13. Fan art
14. Wearing fake earrings (once in a while I like the look of myself with cartilage piercings...and Claire's sells great falsies)
15. SUGARBOWL
16. "Glee" (if you consider this 'guitly')
17. Buying tshirts with stupid sayings on them
18. Writing this blog

I never really realized how much of what I do could be considered a 'guilty pleasure.' Granted much of this is not that 'guilty' and I'm not really ashamed of most of it (possible exception #9) but I needed it to bulk up mah list a little. And hell, if you wanna get it off your chest, comment with a guilty pleasure annonomously becuase I'm an attention whore deep down and I yern for your comments to validate my existance.

Thoughts from the Basement

So, I feel like at this point, our society has differentiated being 'grown up' from being a 'real person.' Think about it. Technically, at age 21 or 18 even, we are considered adults, grown ups. We no longer talk in hypotheticals about our futures, we talk in majors and graduation dates. We drink alcohol (legally), vote (as soon as we register...getting on that ASAP), we buy cigarettes, watch porn, join the army, and have horizontal drivers licences. But are we really 'real people'? For the most part, many of us are still driving our parent's or a family car with that shiny new sideways licence, drinking in the family basement, or using our parents Internet. We're caught in that awkward stage that Brittney Spears knows so well, not a girl, not yet a woman. We aren't anywhere near self-sufficient, functioning people with rich, diverse life experience, but we also aren't those lanky, acne-ridden, prom-going high school kids either. Basically we're grown ups who haven't entered the real world yet, and, as such you'll hear us refer to a great fear of becoming 'real people' in a few short years (I'm not going to dwell on this sentence, it'll send me spiraling into a panic attack). Anyway, a wonderful group of kiddles and I we were trying to verbalize this concept as we chillaxed in Mrs. Bieber's basement the other night (ohhhh yeah, another nickname. know who you are??). We tried, semi-jokingly, to place various groups of people on the 'real person' scale as an explanation for exactly what the term means. I guess our conclusion was basically when you're out on your own, fending for yourself, living on your own, paying for your own cheerios and ramen, and living in the real, post-college world, that's when you really become a real person. Contrary to what you might think you are right now (for anyone pre-college graduation reading this, anyway) you are not real. You're a floater, a drifter, a figment of the world's imagination.
Anyway, in order to more clearly illustrate what we were saying we tried various groups and evaluated their
membership to the real world. Below is the product of our discussion.

NOTES:

• I really take no issue with Canadians as a whole. hell, they gave us Ryan Reynolds! however, I do tend to use them as the butt of jokes mostly because they, like the French, are really quite good at being joke-butts. Also, as per request from Mrs. Bieber, JBiebs is excluded from this grouping. Mostly because he got a freakin BET award. Damn kid, teach me how to dougie! (not a sexual innuendo, apparently he can dougie really well!)
• fetus is loosely used, if you prefer 'moment of conception' 'embryo' or 'infant' you can substitute them here accordingly, whenever you believe life begins...
• Down there with 'real housewives' are heiresses and college students who transition directly into marrying a rich spouse and tanning all day for the rest of their lives. Also reality TV stars (YES SNOOKIE I MEAN YOU)
• There is no category for 'millionaires' or even rich people in general, because as discussed at length, raising your children well in a wealthy family can keep them very grounded and hardworking. And self-made millionaires are obviously good enough to get there....
• The one that was difficult to place was inmates. I haven't decided if they should be very high or very low on the scale. Because on the one hand, some real shit has happened in their lives, on the other they might not be the brightest tools in the shed. Like rich people, they must be examined on a case-by-case basis for realness.
• In regards to the last one: click here. Kicking someones head off is as real as it gets.
• Before college, high school students experience a sudden drop in realness, also called 'senioritis' It's a beautiful thing.

Want To See Something Amazing?!

Yes, it's another video, but this one's totally worth taking a look at. It's an amazing project modeled after Dove's Real Beauty Campaign and is going on right here on campus, fronted by my amazing roommate and starring my other amazing roommate (props to Diva and Salad <3<3<3 Treenie and I are heading PR lol. Drape we miss ya!). Like I said, worth a gander kids!

LOL

Videos thanks to T.eam R.ocket <3 Because be honest, who doesn't love animal videos?

Ways To Procrastinate on Homework

As requested by JJ

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF HOMEWORK

• Read this blog (congratulations! One item done!)
• Write this blog (I mean, this ones mostly me, but I always welcome guest submissions!)
• Cure cancer
• Watch Youtube videos
• Catch up on Family Guy on Hulu
• Clean something (this might just be me again...)
• Draw a picture
• Go to the gym (in extreme circumstances only)
• Learn piano (tryinggggg)
• Play sporcle
• Learn the countries of the world alphabetically
• Practice the alphabet backwards, both for skill and sobriety tests
• Play Portal (FOR REAL PLAY IT)
• Play tetris
• Find an awesome recipe and make it/make plans to make it
• Order Sugar Bowl (AKA food)
• Make a stack of all the green things in your room
• Download music
• Creep on people on facebook
• Plan your next roadtrip
• Bake
• Alphabetize your DVDs
• Eat cookies
• Log onto public computers and change their background
• Eat more cookies
• Watch old 90s cartoons
• Clean the mud that has gathered on all your shoes cause it never stops raining
• Read texts from last night/dear blank please blank
• Write a story
• Go to the library and find the comic books (hint: look between "the joys of yiddish" and "french literature" that's where ours are?)
• Watch acapella groups sing songs (OMG SO GREAT)
• Decorate your room
• Recycle
• Tie all your roommates shoes together
• Sleep
• Kill zombies
• Clean out your facebook friends and/or cell phone contacts
• Plan your outfits for the rest of the week
• Drink (WATER!! WATER!! :])
• Go shopping
• Stargaze
• Go shopping again
• Doodle on every marker board in your hallway, and some that aren't in your hallway
• Stomp in puddles

College According to the Diva

This is all you need for college, according to my lovely roommate.

• Bed
• Pencil
• Rainboots
• ID/Meal Plan/Food