Things I Am Afraid Of

The first step to conquer any fear is admitting you have one. So here, for everyone to see, I am making a list of my fears in hopes that it will satisfy both my list craving and my need to get over some of my fears.

• Death (not my own, the people I care about's)
• 3D movies (I blame the Honey I Shrunk the Kids show)
• Failure
• Roller coasters
• Being yelled at/Getting in trouble (I blame Catholic school)
• Log Flumes
• The Future (who the fuck isn't terrified of this?!)
• Not getting a job
• Being absent (what if something important happens!?)
• Authority figures
• M. Night Shamalan making more movies
• Not doing anything meaningful with my life (see last post, I had a bit of a meltdown)
• Every 'Harry Potter' book in the world spontaneously combusting
• Losing people (Not their death, just....losing them. At this point in time, specific people, but in general, people I care about)
• The American School system
• Having a gun pointed at my head
• Being a bad sister
• Getting pulled over/Getting arrested (can't teach with a stain on my criminal record)
• Never finding someone
• Illness
• Being a bad teacher
• Public performance (singing, dancing, acting, speaking. though I wish so badly that I could)
• Not making the most of everything I've been given

Now, you're probably thinking 'Krysti, stop being such a dumb shit, if you know your fears, fucking fix them.' And to you I say 'Stop being an asshole, no one said you had to read my blog. And you trying conquering a fear of being absent.' I don't even know why I wrote these last two post, I guess it was just stuff I was thinking about and figured I should actually write something more than 'watch this video!' for once.

Oh well, the world is a scary place, little monsters. We'll just have to brave it together. G'night.

The Bitch of Living

So, I recently discovered that one of my greatest, recently discovered phobias (along with authority) is the fear of not living life to the fullest. The fear that if I die tomorrow that I'll have done absolutely nothing in my life but fuck around and spend way too much time on Facebook. That I'm not impacting the world around me, the people who know me, or really much of anything. While I just mess around, my biological clock is ticking away precious seconds and I'm spending them stumbling around or watching cartoons. I worry incessantly about whether I'm just coasting through life without trying to better myself or make any impression. I worry that I'm plain, bland, forgettable. I can't define myself, how the hell do other people. I can't shake the fear that I do nothing for the larger picture, not even a blip on the cosmic radar. That when I leave, be it for the next room or the next world I will forever be just another face in a sea of faces. I wonder if I'm too passive and that my fear of making any major waves in my little tide pool is holding my back as a person and making me incredibly boring. That my stupid list of fears of things like being yelled at, failure, 3D movies, not ever finding love, log flumes, or the unknown are holding me back. I try and be genuine but sometimes I just feel like an empty shell. I don't know who I am or what I want in the grand scheme of things and don't know what to do about it. I've always had a pretty go-with-the-flow attitude towards life, but is that making me miss out? How do I seize the day?! Is it by impacting my surroundings? Is it by having the most fun, loving what I'm doing? Is it making a difference, however small, to someone? I don't know, and sometimes, when I can't wrestle the thought of it back into the very furthest corner of my brain where I store issues like wisdom teeth, cancer, the deterioration of today's youth, body image, death and job availability, it rears its head and I just get so...phobic about the whole damn thing.

Not exactly the Gaga post you were expecting, right? But this was partially brought on by Mama Monster, whose wonderful speeches make you just want to stand up and say 'FUCK YOU WORLD I AM WHO I AM!'

But....who the hell is that?

FREAKING GREAT NIGHT!

Gaga was, as we knew it would be, mindblowingly wonderful. As soon as I figure out how to post my videos on here you'll all have your bandwith freaking blown out with picture and video from the show (35 videos....jesus). Also to come: entry/possible guest opinon piece "Is Gaga the AntiChrist?"

And you guys are all wonderful people for gratifying my love for sidebar polls and voting on my outfit. Team Pancho fans, don't fret, I'm almost positive I'll make one at some point this summer.
And a little taste of what's to come :)

Little Monsters off to see Mama Monster <3

ALMOST SHOWTIME!

So, holy shit people actually voted! 18 people in fact! Or just some people refuse to let their outfit lose *cough* I have my suspicions *cough* Thanks all, the hood and zebra are tied, but I think I'm going hood only because its gonna still be up in the 90s Friday and I don't wanna roast. But I love you all Little Monsters <3<3<3

Glitter, glosticks, facepaint (for lightning bolts), lipstick (retrieved from ashtray :] ), Gaga glasses....I'M SO READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUPER IMPORTANT! I NEED YOUR HELP!

So...I'M GOING TO SEE LADY GAGA IN CONCERT ON FRIDAY (haha super, super last minute plans <3)  and need to decide which of the gaggle of Gaga's I'm dressing as. Help me out, and VOTE in the left hand sidebar!!!

Keep in mind that of course they'll all be done Krysti-style because I am nowhere near pretty enough or have enough self-confidence to pull these off normally. Which means:

A. Zebra poncho: I'll be wearing black leggings with this

B. It'll most likely be a 'disco tank top' not a bra

C./D. These are actually pretty tame for Gaga

E. God I don't even know how I can do this one, but It'll deff be longer

Oh and I've already got some glasses and bangs, which should help, and facepaint for a lightening bolt. So there's a start.

HELP ME OUT! IDK WHAT I SHOULD DO! And any crafty suggetions would be nice, if you've got 'em!

VOTEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pop! Goes the Weasel

So, for whatever reason I had the 'pop! goes the weasel' song stuck in my head, and aside from its Panic! At the Disco style punctuation one other element confused me.

"All around the mulberry bush (or cobbler's bench)
The monkey chased the weasel;
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun,
Pop! goes the weasel."

 
Does the weasel DIE? I guess I always assumed so, since the previous line mentions the monkey thinking it was all fun and games until the weasel spontaneously combusts, apparently. Which I though was a tad morbid for a children's song (although "Ring Around the Rosie" is no picnic either). So I checked it out thanks to my BFF wikipedia and no one actually knows what it means. People have theorized everythinfrom it being slang for craftsmens tools to having something to do with Guy Fawkes' gunpowder plot. Who, I discovered, after more research, was not a selfless soldier for a more fair and equal government like V for Vendetta (great movie) makes him out to be, but a fighter for Spain and the Catholic Church. Weird, right?

Why am I telling you all about this? Because I find it interesting, and goddamn it it's my blog! And I'll write what I want, whether it be mind-numbing L*** A******** rants or intellectually stimulating pieces of trivia. So stuff that in your Trivial Pursuit wedge thing and suck it.

Happy Birthday America!!

And what's more American than....MARIO!







Thank your lucky power-up stars that we live where we do. We've got 1Up chances here in the US that people elsewhere can't even fathom and sometimes we forget that. Also, a special thanks to all the incredibly brave men and women serving our country worldwide. I have so much respect for what they do, I could never do it. And thanks to them we can do all the stuff we do without fear.

Mama mia! Happy 4th.

Next On My 'To Craft' List

You are a huge liar if you say this isn't one of the coolest nerdy things you've ever seen. I want one!

Craftster is a favorite site of mine, look around a bit, they've got some awesome stuff made by ever awesome-er crafters! See if you can find me...

I am like two stiches from finishing my reconstructed polka-dot dress and cannot wait to wear it (although its probably too fancy for me to wear anywhere...but whatever, I'll find something) and am psyched because it was one of my short-term items on my bucket list, plus it involves a ton of stuff I've never done before with sewing and so far its coming along much better than expected.

Here's a 'before' shot of the dress as a teaser :)

Pretty ugly, right? Promise I made it at least a little cuter. Actually, the dress is my mom's from when she was my age, her favorite dress in fact. It's pretty 80s (don't tell her I said that....) and I'm no where near her size, so I Tim-Gunned it a bit and am making it work. Trust me, the second I finish pictures will be all over this blog.

Do NOT Go See "The L*** A*********"

And yeah, it was so bad I'm refusing to speak its name.

{NOTE: This post will most likely be rated PG-13/R for language and graphic violence}

Dear Mr. Shama-lama-asshole,
I would like to offer my sincerest condolences for what I'm sure was a massively important and tragic event pulled you away from your work on "The L*** A********." I'm sure releasing it in mid-production stages was not intention and I'm sure that it was simply this economy that prevented you from adding the more minor details in the movie, like, say, the water that Aang and Katara are supposed to be bending along with all those awesome dance moves that I'm sure scored you a lot of tail back in the 20s. Although, as we could tell by this movie, you probably couldn't finish with any of that tail. And I can completely understand that as a very busy, self-righteous, pompous bastard of a director, producer, screenwriter, and supporting actor you probably had no time to watch the wonderful piece of animated genius that is the series you were supposed to be adapting. Little details like the 'a' sound in 'Aang' are trifles you are simply too important for. I mean, its not like your paycheck relies on the quality of your movies or anything, BECAUSE IF SO YOU WOULD BE SO FAR UP THE ASS IN DEBT RIGHT NOW THAT THE UNITED STATES WOULD LOOK FUCKING LOADED.
You, sir, and your movie are a disgrace to Avatar fans everywhere. You took a cartoon series so good that the most manly-cliche-high-school-jock would open admit he watches and pretty much raped it up the butt. Hard. To be completely honest (and believe me, I will be) I wish I could memorybend the last two plus hours of my life away. And I didn't even pay to see your goddamn POS, I wasted a free pass! ON THAT! On two plus hours of awful, terrible, horrible film adaptation. I think it is quite possibly the worse movie I've ever watched in my life. But, enough unsupported claims. I'll explain myself.
From the very beginning of your half-ass poorly CGI-ed attempt to recreate the title sequence I was worried. Then, everything changed when the subtitles attacked. Starting with a semi-linguistically challenged Katara (who no one really likes anyway) who informs the audience of the state of the world and mispronounces the first of many names in the movie ("auhhh-vatar") I'm already assured this will be awful. We then quickly meet Aaaaahhhh-ng, who is completely the opposite of his lighthearted, fun-loving TV character, and is stupid, moody, and extremely flat. We then have the extremely uncharacteristically pleasant Grandma (AKA Gran Gran, but its okay M, I know your too important to do your research) explains how important the spirit world is to the fire nation's cause (NOT) and fully supports her two underaged grandchildren decision to take a flying bison to where ever to save some kid they just met. But it's okay, because the gAang (Sokka, Katara, and Aaaaaaah-ng) don't really need any screen time anyway, the important character is Zuko....? Wait, which one is Zuko again? The one horribly scarred by firebending? Wait, so which one is he? Oh the one whose right side of his face is minorly discolored, oh Ooooookay. Anyway he and his super not Iroh-looking uncle are way more important and should be spastically cut to right in the middle of any part with Aaaaah-ng. Oh, and instead of being cloaked in a veil of fire in his palace, Firelord Pu-ssi is going to just stroll around the garden and chillax. It's whatever.

But to be honest, I'm too goddamn exhausted to write anymore because I've been preparing to see this movie from the minute I left work, making costumes (the gAang out of tshirts and sculpy in two hours) and catching up on our best of the benders. All for literally SHIT. So to cut things short, let it be noted that:

• It takes 6 earthbenders to move one rock.
• Waterbenders now fight by trapping people inside water bubbles suspended in air UNTIL THEY DROWN
• Hiru is about 8
• Katara, while having no lines but her awful voice overs, does help the cause by hanging wanted posters of Ahhhhhhhh-ng around fire nation territories.
• Sometimes, to get to the Spirit World you just have to sit down for a quick sec and then everything will go double vision and everything anyone ever told you will echo in your head.
• The Klan now has scuba suits.
• Firebenders cannot make their own fire. If they can its enough to scare away M Night.
• Momo and Sokka provide no comic relief. The only comic relief is laughing at how awful everything is.
• Sokka is mispronounced so well it can be confused for Zuko.
• Waterbending is more like a pleasent bubbling sprout of water that really does nothing.
• To win a war you just need to make a HUGE FUCKING WAVE then let it slowly sink back into the ocean.
• No Suki.
• No Jet.

No more for tonight. More later, but I needed to write something before I try drastic measures to memorybend this from my memory.

EFF YOU M NIGHT SHAMALAN.

This Time I'll Be Bulletproof.

That song is stuck in my head. But besides that, it makes an excellent Genius playlist according to iTunes:

"Bulletproof" La Roux
"Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" Gaga
"Great DJ" The Ting Tings
"Sleepyhead" Passion Pit
"Smile Like You Mean It" The Killers 
"Fluorescent Adolescent" Arctic Monkeys
"Oxford Comma" Vampire Weekend
"Don't Upset the Rhythm (Go Baby Go)" The Noisettes
"Pumpkin Soup" Kate Nash
"Flathead" The Fratellis
"Somebody to Love (Glee Cast Version)" Glee Cast
"Samson" Regina Spektor
"An Honest Mistake" The Bravery
"The Fame" Gaga
"Spaceman" The Killers
"Mushabloom" Fiest
"Little Secrets" Passion Pit
"Wordplay" Jason Mraz
"Why Georgia" John Mayer
"Merry Happy" Kate Nash
"Better" Regina Spektor
"The Funeral" Band of Horses
"On Top" The Killers

Sometimes technology scares me with how well it knows me. And sometimes my predictability scares me. Maybe I should shake things up more often, I mean you all see how songs repeat themselves in my playlists all the time...oh whatever. If you haven't heard any of these bands/artists they're all absolutely PHENOM. And it's a solid collection of my favorites. Czech it out.

More on the beginnings of the Quest later. Camp tomorrow, so tired. G'night kiddles.