Twilight Is Just A Cheap, Sugar-Coated Harry Potter

So, my Yahoo news just informed me that 'Breaking Dawn' (the last, and most terrible of the 'Twilight' saga) will be broken into-yes, you guessed it-two movies. Very original Summit Entertainment (henceforth referred to as 'Satin Entertainment' or simply 'Satin'). And very clearly not a huge gimmick to rake in double the money from the tween-magnet franchise. No one has ever thought of taking a gazillion dollar book to movie project and making it one film longer-oh wait Harry Potter. Now. Before I continue, let me make two things clear.
1. Yes, I have read the whole 'Twiight' series (even 'Breaking Dawn' as I fought my basic instinct to give up and set the book on fire) and for a while I was (shamefully) a fan. I've gone to the midnight premieres of both 'Twilight' and 'New Moon.' And each time I've been (what I now plea) forced to suffer through those cinematic tragedies I promised myself 'No MORE!' And after the utterly absurd 'skipping through a field as vampires' dream sequence I knew it was over. Yes, yes, I put up with it for that long and for that I ask forgiveness.
2. I do not approve of the Harry Potter movies. With the exception of some things (the set, Minerva McGonegall, the old Dumbledore, Bellatrix, the midnight premieres) I would strongly argue that I wished they were never made into movies. I love the book series dearly, and the movies come no where near to doing it justice. And for that I think the directors (all six or whatever of them) should be put on trial for the murder of a great series.

Moving on;
The Ways in Which Twilight Is Just a Trashy Supermarket Romance Novel Version of Harry Potter

• The revival of a classic fictional element to spice up the life of an otherwise boring teenager (wizards, vampires; Harry Potter, Bella Swann)
• An utterly horrid male lead actor playing someone with a range of emotions well outside said actor's abilities permit him to display (Daniel Radcliff, Robert Pattinson)
• The obsession with movie releases in June/July or November
• Painful attempts by the main male character to fit into a school setting when he and everyone else in that setting know that the efforts are fruitless and he sticks out like a sore thumb (Harry, Edward)
• Werewolves (Lupin, Jacob (even though...oh whatever))
• The friend who's always nagging about rules and trying the main character out of everything (Hermione, Jacob)
• The ability of the movies to make the books look bad/even worse.
• The cool guy with the motorcycle (Sirius/Hagrid, Jacob)
• The ginger (the Weasley's, Victoria)
• The omnipresent opposing force (Volemort, Volturi)
• Repeated attempts on the main character's life by a person well-known to the character and their super-powerful posse but which it takes several/all books to kill (Voldemort, Victoria)
• The clear use of V when naming anything evil (Voldemort, Victoria, Volturi)
• The harmless friend who's really not good at anything (Neville, Mike Newton)
• Shapeshifting (Animagi, werewolves)
• The main character's broken family (orphan, divorced parents)
• Another main character's perfect, loving, accepting family (the Weasleys, the Cullens)
• Suspicions of evil cast on a character(s) turning out to be a giant misunderstanding and that character is actually good (Sirius, werewolves)
• The splitting of the last film into two parts to make money.

So, I understand that some of this stuff goes back to like, Carl Jung and the hero's journey and other well-established methods of creating a story, and that the two are the same genre. But seriously, I'm just pissed that all the movie industry cares about anymore is money. Not quality, not preserving the integrity of the material they are adapting, just money. ARRGGGG.

Here's hoping the next Harry Potter movies are worth the $11 it costs to go to the premiere...

23/36 I Dare You To Beat Me

Because now these song bites are all nagging in my brain and misery loves company:


http://www.sporcle.com/games/enough/2000smusic

A fun Sporcle quiz :)

ReeeeVampppp!

Yes, I'm insanely bored and have no life. Which explains why, as soon as Blogger told me that it had revamped its layout program I absolutely needed to try it out. What do we think? Personally I think the clouds encapsulate the worldly themes exhibited in my oh-so-exciting blog. Again, I apologise both for the extremely lackluster posts as well as for the bugs that I know are still in the layout. It doesn't seem to know what to make of pictures...idk. But, to remind all of you reading how much I lurrrrve you here are two videos that never fail to make me laugh





These young rock stars are really startin early with the *whooo whooo* (as Glozell might say). Hope that at least keeps you all at bay until my life actually gets interesting enough to post about. Oh, and if that doesn't do the trick, try going to Target. I just snagged the most adorable dress there for freakin' $8.

Target=Love

)That's the most math I'm doing all summer.)

Summer Playlist No.1

So, I'm adding a mix tape section to the blog because I haven't added a new Segment in awhile. This one's basically going to consist of playlists (and just be prepared because when I like a song it's on all my playlists). This first one was inspired by some of my guilty pleasure car sing-along songs which I noticed are all sung by female singers I either hate to love or love to hate. Hence my Summer 2010: Crazy Bitches and Dumb Sluts mix. Let's take a look...

1. Tik Tok - Ke$ha
2. So What - P!nk
3. Like a G6 - Far East Movement
4. Single Ladies - Lady B
5. Evacuate the Dancefloor - Cascada
6. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich - The Gaga
7. Radar - Britney 'Queen of Crazy' Spears
8. Your Love Is My Drug - Ke-look I'm so original using symbols in my name -ha
9. VideoPhone - Lady B featuring The Gaga
10. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
11. Boys Boys Boys - The Gaga
12. The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
13. Don't Stop the Music - Rhianna
14. Calabri 2007 - Enur
15. Great DJ - The Ting Tings
16. Blah Blah Blah - Ke$ha
17. Telephone -  The Gaga featuring Lady B
18. 3 - B. Spears
19. Paper Planes - M.I.A
20. Summerboy - The Gaga
21. Party In the U.S.A - Miley 'Queen of the Sluts' Cyrus

So, get in your car and crank this shit up because that's what this summer is going to be full of, crazyyyyy ass female singers who you'd either love to take a meat cleaver to or are likely to be spotted wearing one on the red carpet. Either way they're great to sing along with regardless of your age, gender, or degree auto-tunage naturally present in your voice.

A Few Fun Adventure Pics

his is what my life boils down to. And I could not be happier.

So, I'm extending a challenge to you all. In lieu of a 'spotted around campus submission' I think you should all grab some blunted swords, old Halloween costumes/random fabrics, and awesome props find a questly space and take an awesome picture. I highly doubt anyone will send anything, so the winner will get their own featured post and I'll probably rave about how awesome they are. Ready, set, QUEST!

the video's nerdy as hell, but you can't deny that it's well done.

Feed your inner geek WOW style.

Princess Zelda's Getting Lonely

Which can only mean one thing....SOMEONE'S IN NEED OF A LITTLE LINK-ACTION.

I've been storing up some sites for you all but I always forget to actually embed them in my posts, and my blog folder is bursting at the digital seams. The following exists solely for the purpose of digital cleaning: This summer's hot color is teal. I've never really liked unicorns. Rah Rah Ah Ah Ah. I have a fangirl crush on Zuko from the animated Avatar series. I spent two hours today playing Pokemon and will continue to do so tomorrow. Why is Rhode Island even a state? They should just stick it on the top of Maryland or whatever and be done with it. I'm reading Tequila Mockingbird to pass my days. Poor little rich boy all the couples have gone. I really love driving at night. Wizards exist. I miss my best friend. Lady Gaga likes it rough, which leaves me speechless but I'll put my poker face on and deal with her bad romance because I'm starstuck. Sometimes before I walk inside my house at night I just stand and look up and the stars, and on cloudy nights I miss them. I wish someone would teach me piano because I'm terrible at teaching myself and I wanna learn so dang BAD. I hate that stupid 'Airplanes' song so much. Use reusable bags, they come in cute patters and save the earth. I can't ever sleep. I wish I could sword fight, and/or snowboard. I like to write steam of conscious. Hunchback of Notre Dame has great music but is just as fucking scary as ten year old me remembered. I hate people who don't use their turn signals. I want to be in America. It's a trap!

Well, that about wraps it up. Goodnight!

If You're Not a Gleek, don't even bother reading this....

Dear Writers of 'Glee'

First of all, I'd like to commend you on creating a following the likes of which are multiplying at an insane rate. An army of Gleeks to which I'm not ashamed to say I am a part of. However, my loyalty is actually what I'm writing in regards to. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting Pulitzer prize writing here (I mean, come on, the first major plot of the show was baby-daddy drama) however, I did want to appeal to you all to take advantage the months between the conclusion of season one and the start of season two and come up with some more solid story lines that don't just weave in and out of episodes to get you through the hour. While part I of season one had a solid plot foundation and clear objectives (saving of Glee Club, winning of sectionals, untangling the Quinn/Puck/Finn triangle, etc.) part II is just more of a medley of guest stars and unnecessary themes that just jumble the already random and choppy plot lines. Good for you on creating a phenomenon that caught the attention of talented voices like Idena Mezal, Kristin Chenoweth, and Jonathan Groff but lets not get crazy here. As popular and great as the guest stars are, please don't let them steal all the spotlight from the storyline. April Rhodes, for example, was great in her first appearance in Glee, giving it some star power as well as a strong set of adult female pipes (*squeee 'Wicked'). However, her second episode was pretty pointless other than helping to break apart Will and Emma (Boo! ps: where the hell has she been lately?) You've taken the main antagonistic force and comedic relief of Sue and downgraded her to a dancing/singing fiend despite her adamant hatred of the Glee Club. Yeah, 'Vogue' was funny as hell but 'Physical' was random and odd and served only to cater to Olivia Newton John (again, hugely talented, but pointless in the plot). All I'm asking is that you not let your want to incorporate guest stars and have themed episodes get in the way of plot. Have the characters sing songs that actually work with the plot line, like you did back in part I. Not to say that some of the songs can't be 'fun' songs meant to help the club rehearse for regionals (ps, when they hell are they? Are you gonna drag it out for another half season or are they the season finale?) because they total can be (and some of the show's best songs are). But by catering to stars and themes you need to keep adding random side plots that you don't finish in one episode and then pull back out two weeks later when you need some filler (ex: Kurt and Finn's parents, they pop up in an episode every few weeks, same with Rachel's mama-drama) I don't even know what the 'main' plot line is anymore. Is it Rachel's mom thing? Because I'm pretty sure that it just got mentioned every three episodes until Rachel and Shelby met, sung the completely unrelated 'PokerFace' (beautifully done, love Gaga, but didn't fit as well as other songs could have, 'For Good' mayhaps? Although they'd never have Idena sing that...) and decided that they didn't really feel like being all mother-daughter-y. And characters are just dropping in and out like it's their job. Santana went from background vocals, to solos with Mercedes and Finn, to intense auto-tuning in 'Bad Romance' the Asian guy finally got a name, Emma and Jesse just dropped off the face of the earth for awhile, and I'm pretty sure that the two jocks in the Gaga episode had more lines than Quinn's had in part II total. Basically, I'd just like to ask y'all to up your writing game a little bit, or else when someone that I know gets on 'Glee' I'm gonna have to live in their trailer and sneak into the writing room and do your jobs. Just sayin'. Great concept, makes me wish I had the voice and the balls to do something like join New Directions, but let's try and forget for one second that you've already got a huge fan following and don't have to struggle to keep the show on the air and write like you're in danger of being canceled. Because, frankly, in my book you are.

Peace & Blessin's
~Krysti

Gaga <3s Glee

TFML: Texts From My Life

These are the texts that have been given the honor of being saved in my phone..in no particular order. Spot yours?

"Never get drunk krysti. this girl in my lab group did and got a tattoo of the dark mark on the back of her neck. u would totally do it."
"i just drove past your street today and almost cried. though you should know."
"My mother has a lady gaga cd in the car. i don't know how i should feel about this."
"smells like cigarettes and bad decisions"
"I spilled 5thel 5th.be alll over myrifile g'il sorry"
"Are you a dementor because you just took my breath away."
"i wanna take a ride on your disco stick"
"true life we're gargoyles."
"i decided im only going to give it to him once he reads the 7th harry potter book"
"ugh i miss you so much its burned a hole in my stomach lining/wizard pancreas"
"if you have a tiara, wear it."

i <3 my life.

Alice In Cleanerland

So, in an attempt to move myself back in, I've been doing a complete clean-sweep of my bedroom, one section at a time (for real, this is what I've been doing all this time that I haven't blogged. That and sleeping an insane amount). I don't know if you know this, but cleaning is really a eye-opening experience. It really teaches you about yourself. So, without further ado...

Things I Learned About Myself While Cleaning

• I have a really terrible case of pack-rat-itis. I found my 5th grade phone directory, two of those stupid prom dress magazines, birthday cards from as early as 6th grade, one Siam/brick wall, and a program from a school play from three years ago that I wasn't even in.
• I'm an even bigger nerd than I thought. I finally got around to creating a 'costume box' for myself, because the one in the attic is too inconvenient (I need my stuff on-hand). Um, the amount of costumes and props from various random occasions filled my crate in a matter of minutes. Ears, swords, capes, cloaks, light sabers, gloves....
• I have a weird thing with hats...Like, from where I am sitting I can spot...thirteen hats in the decor of my room. and I know for a fact that there are at least five more in this room out of sight. I guess you could argue my affinity for dressing up and hats means I'm not happy with myself and feel the need to adopt other personas to make me feel complete. And I would reply that you're not a certified psychologist and that you should back off. And then you might argue that I just self-diagnosed myself, indicating a whole host of other problems. In which case I would say that you diagnosed me. Then you might remind me I am having an entire hypothetical conversation with myself on my blog. In which case I might agree to go see someone...
• I learned that I really need to work some more on repressing my inner child. A good shelf and a half of my book case is books that have a recommended reading age under like 12. Not to mention the aforementioned dress up clothes and the rafts in my closet.
• But I am growing up. I did recycle all but three of the Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom/Random celeb magazine/calendar/printout pages that once coated my walls. Next to come down is the Jonas Brothers Rolling Stone. Ever since Kevin got married it's just not the same....Guess I'm on the hunt for new posters! (Gaga and Vampire Diaries are first on my list!)
• I am spectacular at taking clutter and condensing it to give the appearance that I got rid of it. Which is great when doing a last minute cleaning, but awful when trying to actually clean.

Now, if you're  bored to tears right about now because my blog is so incredibly boring, I don't blame you. I'm brought to tears that I have nothing more interesting or questly to report to you all. I might as well change my blog to 'krysti goes cleaning.' But do not fret, fair questers! For soon summer will be in full swing and the quest will be upon us! Until then, hang in there.

CLEAN COUNT:
3 large trash bags
2.5 trash bags of donations
3 bags of paper recycling