Because, Deep Down Inside, We're All Fucking Nuts.

I continually question why I write this blog, and even more, why people read it. But, I suppose that my non-mind reading self can only, at this point, address the first of these issues, and to be freaking honest that's what this post is about anyway I just needed a sound opening sentence (because, you know I always start with that *snicker*).

So why the hell do I write? I think, personally, we're all freaking crazy on the insides and what we actually see of people we don't know well and think are sane is just them being super-good at hiding everything. Ya know? Like people who otherwise seem like sound, logical, well-put together people who are Mr. Joe Sociable at work or in class, then go home and just rock back and forth in a corner because they just hate interacting with people. Or Suzi Life'O the Party who actually would much rather be at home writing music about the contents of her fridge than be getting shitfaced at some party where she doesn't know anyone. Basically, we're all nuts, and we all have our ways of dealing with it. Me? I do one of three things:

1. I talk the ear off of someone who's close to me (least likely, as I don't like burdening people with my problems. Because, really? Why should anyone else be burdened with my shit? They've got their issues and don't want to hear about mine.)
2. Write this blog. Basically a modified version of number one, but put in a way that people can at least get some enjoyment out of my misery (I feel like I've written a post about this whole thing before, but whatever, just stop reading if you're bored. And if you're getting bored on a site you visit to relieve your boredom I think you should take a step back and evaluate what the interwebs is doing to your attention span....)
3. Put "Bad Romance" on repeat in my car and drive around belting out the lyrics until I literally feel my throat bleeding.

I suppose I also play a shit-ton of Tetris too, but that's not specific to me being crazy, Tetris is just fun.

 I guess I also write to keep my ability to, to practice in a way. In middle school I wrote fan-fic (don't ask, don't judge. and no I'll never post anything here) and now I've matured, now I bitch about my life for a narrow audience. Which, I also kind of feel bad about, burdening you dear readers since my life is not bad in the slightest. I'm extremely blessed and fortunate beyond belief to have everything I do, and I'd like to take this crazy-mixed up, night-rambling blog post to take a second to thank people. I'm not naming names, I don't feel like it A and B I think that's catty and a real stupid way to start shit. I think you know who you are. There are quite a few of you, I'm fortunate enough to say, who've really helped me this semester, because it was quite a doozy. You know who you are. I love you deep down from the bottom of my heart, so much so that I cannot tell you in text or words or deeds or gifts or thank-yous. You are phenomenal and I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Anyway, back to being crazy. I suppose you might argue "Jesus ya psycho go see a shrink, write a journal, punch a pillow. Why the hell are you burdening the cyber-world with your stupid, useless shit thoughts. You're just looking for attention and sympathy.' And to you I say tell that to the makers of Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Xanga, Flikr, formspring, or any of those other social network/lookatmelookatmelookatme sites. Why do you think they're so popular?!?! EVERYONE'S FUCKING LONELY. Everyone wants someone to care about what they're doing, to 'like' their thoughts, to poke them, to leave hearts on their walls. All the time. We need to be constantly gratified that others like us. And yeah, I hate being a part of that. But I am, as much as if not more than most. Why? Because that's our culture, that's what the world has been boiled down to, an endless cycle of repeated need for attention and gratification. I'm not gonna lie, I feel a little tiny flicker of disappointment if people don't 'like' my witty status or new profile picture, but I like  to tell myself its no more than if someone I know at a party doesn't say hello. And yes, I like writing for other people, I like to entertain and I like to be entertained. I don't think that's a crime, it's not hurting anyone. I really don't write anything incendiary and if you don't like it, don't read it. Jeez.

To be honest, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I just felt a wave of crazy come on and fought it every way I know. As we speak I'm sucking on a cough drop trying to stop my throat from bleeding while charging my iPod so it's ready for A. my next therapy session or B. xmas shopping in blizzards. Goodnight to you all and best of freaking luck dealing with your individual crazy. As you can see I'm coping with mine...

EDIT: Yeah, so after posting this I just deleted my accounts for at least two of the above sites (goodbye twitter (which was stupid anyway, more on that later) and formspring (no one asked me anything anway)) and one additional site (home of the mentioned fan-fic, sweet god.....). I FEEL AMAZING. DELETE ALL YOUR SUPERFLUOUS SOCIAL NETWORKING ACCOUNTS! YOU FEEL SO CYBER-CLEANLY!

Finals Week: The Final Hour

So, obvs I've been absent due to the horror that is finals. But, here's a lil something to blow your minds, almost as much as mine was when I A. aced my botany final B. discovered the snake game trick on youtube and C. found my blogstats. Enjoy and happy finals week to those of us still sufferin'

Tuna Salad and Cheese Please!

Faith in the opposite sex restored <3<3<3

Dear Women,


I know this is a bold move, but here goes: I'm offering to make you a sandwich. What kind would you like?

Sincerely, Not all guys are d-bags


If you haven't ever been, visit the website DearBlankPleaseBlank.com

(Another) Public Apology

So, I would like to make known an 'error' from a previous post, brought to my attention by one, Sir William of the Turn Table (like you're nickname? everyone needs a secret blog-dentity, this is yours sir). Thou hath been knighted.

Anyway, SW points out that, as defined by Wikipedia, the Disney Renaissance is technically defined as The Little Mermaid to Lion King, 50-odd years off what I defined it as in previous posts. However, let it be known that I still consider those 50-odd years of film (which included Alice in Wonderland, Great Mouse Detective, and Peter Pan) to be classic Disney animation and as such I lump them with the Renaissance period. But, for the record, that isn't the classically defined use of the term. Special thanks to Sir William, who earns his knighthood by fact-checking my audacious claims and offhand comments. We salute you, oh guardian of correctness :)

Things I Do In the Wee Hours of the Morning (1-4am)

• Water my cactus
• Recycle all the bottles left around my room (WATER BOTTLES people, WATER BOTTLES)
• Play sporcle
• Blog (duh)
• Wash out tye-dyed shirts
• Shower
• Doodle
• Write lists
• Creep on Facebook
• Eat the vitamins I forgot to take this morning
• Visit the vending mechine
• Catch up on Hulu
• Paint my nails
• Do homework (maybe)
• Skype <3
• Do homework on skype
• Clean my desk
• Fold laundry
• Pack my backpack
• Play Catan
• Update my calandar
• Check my emails
• Write essays

So, as you can see, I'm quite busy during the nighttime hours, it's when I do my best work, clearly. How else would I be able to get a high score of 124/151 first generation pokemon on sporcle?!

Do You Have a Soul!?

So, in making that edit on the 'Tangled' post, I remembered a list I've been constructing in my head for awhile:

Krysti's How-To Guide for Determining If Someone Has a Soul

Basically it works like this. You (or someone you know) may be lacking a key piece/defining feature of their humanity. How can you tell? Well, someone might be lacking a soul if:

• They do not smile when shown an infant under the age of one. The likely hood of them not having a soul decreases proportionally with the age of the child (ex: not smiling at a 'tween' is acceptable, they're annoying little - never mind, tangent)
• They kick and/or otherwise violently assult any of the following: dolphins, baby seals, puppies, bunnies, kittens.
• They do not like animated movies, specifically Disney movies produced during either the Disney Rennisance (Cinderella through Aladdin) or Disney post-Rennisance periods (Lion King through Tarzan).
• They walk by Girl Scouts selling cookies in the freakin' freezing cold (because January is cookie season!) and completely ignore them, not even a 'No thank you.'
• They are currently or have recently A. been released from Askaban or B. been in/gotten out of a relationship/one night stand with a Dementor
• They throw recyclables into trash cans with recycling bins right next to them ([insert long string of explatives here])
• They do not like those adoable sleeping puppy calendars

Please feel free to condole these people of their great loss and be supportive in their lifestyle choices (not just soullessness,  but ALL life choices people)

Don't Worry, I Didn't Forget You!!

Hello all, sorry for the long gaps between posts, life is pretty good, I'm not (very) mad at anything, hence the lack of rants. However, don't worry, I'm sure I'll find something soon (finals are next week after all- holy shit!) and as usual it would be my pleasure to distract you all with my accumulations of videos, pictures, and other nonsense to help you avoid your inevitable workload. So, here is my first of such posts, a collection of truly impressive musical holiday (and non) web sensations.








So, enjoy and let the holiday shopping frustration begin!! Wanna know what's on my list? Of course you do because you all want to go out shopping for me, right?!

• Lego Star Wars X-Wing Fighter (as previously discussed)
• Tea Tree mud mask (teehee I like scaring the freshman with my green face)
• Gold spray paint (to finish my newest project....;])
• A good GPA
• A new laptop bag (mine's busting at the seams)
• Snow on Christmas
• To go on epic quests over break and completely forget about school
• Never to pick up a Botany book again
• Black tights, maybe some colors if I get ballsy
• A Lady Gaga Monsterball 2011 calendar
• Saladworks gift cards, millions of them
• Clothes, obviously
• Warm, homemade Christmas cookies
• To shower without shoes for an entire month
• Play video games until my brain melts (or, in the case of Just Dance, until I can no longer move)
• "Inception" on DVD

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. But in order to get to these lovely gifts that I want to receive (and trust me, there are several I'm excited to give as well....) I need to get though one thing, or rather, five things that start with an F and rhyme with 'schminals'. Godspeed to you all, fellow scholars. And leave me topics to talk about cause I'm just about out. :(

Have $10.50 Burning a Hole in Your Pocket?

Here's an idea: GO SEE TANGLED!

This is legit the most adorable freaking movie. Disney's 50th animated film definitely lives up to the legacy of Walt. I laughed, I cried, I didn't regret spending the $15 to see it in 3D. Her hair was so stunningly wonderfully animated I wanted to cry and the sequences with her parents were so moving I legit did cry. Fabulous. Not to mention Pascal (the lizard) is the cutest sidekick since Meko <3

EDIT: If this doesn't make your eyes get all teary, you have no soul.

Baby All I Want for Christmas Is You

Turn on B101. Do you hear that?? That, my friends, is the sound of everyones "favorite time of the year" (or so everyone claims, but all I ever hear is whining, personally) once again overstepping its universal Black Friday boundaries once again. Is it really so hard for everyone to hold their ho-ho-hos until after Thanksgiving?!?

Oh well, consumerism at its finest, don't tell me you haven't gone shopping yet. I have, though all I've made little progress on anyone's gifts other than mine. However, I did get a bangin' pair of boots and a kick-ass new Star Wars poster. So I'm happy as a clam. But, I'm home for break, so I figured I'd share some quick shots of my day, spent scouring the county with a certain somebody to find a certain un-findable confectionery.

Move over Edward, they need more room for the Bellatrix/Snape lunchboxes ;D



THIS HAS BEEN ON MY CHRISTMAS LIST FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS!
They finally started making them again!



This was pretty freakin' sweet.

And thus, with my first trip(s) to Toys-R-Us in probably several years, the holiday season has begun. Wish lists are flying through Cyberspace, Ebay is working out all it's kinks, Target is stocking its shelves for black Friday, and the Turkey hasn't even become leftovers yet. Sad, sad, sad.

In other news, now that I'm home for the holiday I've started A. thinking of crafty gifts for everyone I know and B. crafting a new project for myself revolving around a few of my greatest loves, childhood, steampunk, and shooting helpless people with bits of high-velocity foam. Any idea what it might be!? HINT

Hopefully, updates to come soon, but right now I'm off to make CAKE BALLS with the family (idk, they're this dessert-thing my mom has a recipe for, apparently they're good. Check your sexual innuendos at the door kids.)

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...

What's that sound, you ask!? Why, it's the sound of one of the items getting crossed off my bucket list!!

Oh yes, I'm sure you've all forgotten by now all the wondrous and completely mundane goals I set for myself somewhere back in the day on this very blog. But I have not! In fact, just this weekend I crossed off item #2! A secret lifelong dream of mine:

perform onstage

Ladies and gentlemen, I will be signing autographs after this posting... ;) haha but in all seriousness it was actually not very big of a deal at all, I was just in the ensemble - don't get crazy. But I feel absolutely fantastic and am so glad I grew a pair and got involved with such a great experience. All the cast was utterly wonderful and fucking talented as shit. Every single one of them, and I'm so glad I got the opportunity to perform with them.

Look out Broadway here I come!