I Would Never Leave You...

But, I am expanding my social media circle (as usual. Don't hold your breath, it's only a matter of time before this one goes the way of my formspring and twitter...). Welcome to the newest contender for my internet affection: Tumblr!

STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME!

This one is like, if a blog and a twitter had a baby, this is the product. Basically it's like a bite-sized version of my blog, but it's faster and easier to update and I post a lot more stupid internet shit and a lot less touchy feely shit. Enjoy!

Why I'm Not Planning on Parenthood

Or

"The Awesome Stuff I Would Do If I Had Kids"

• Subtly name them after famous nerdy people (ie "Jackson Peter [Last Name] Lucas George [Last Name])
• Dress them up for Comic Cons. Because there is NOTHING cuter than a kid at comic con (not even a boy with a cat...)
• Make them watch all the classic Disney movies on VHS
• Play the Lord of the Rings soundtrack as their lullaby
• Buy them Converses from the time they are born until the time when they are old enough to buy their own Converses
• Dress them as Pokemon for Halloween
• Ensure access to video games from a young age
• Themed bedrooms (possible ideas: Mario, Star Wars, Harry Potter)
• Use Portal as an educational tool
• Superhero onesies <3<3<3
• My daughter would ABSOLUTLY have this.
• Harry Potter would be our bedtime story every night
• Clearly we'd have that pirate ship playground in the backyard
• Family game night would include Just Dance, Mario Kart: Double Dash and Super Smash Bros.
• Our Christmas tree would have a theme every year
• Conflicts would be resolved using lightsaber battles
• Themed Halloween costumes (ie The Incredibles, Mario and Co.)
• Family Christmas cards would probably be costumed photo shoots...
• Name any set of mixed gender twins Luke and Leia
• Dinosaur chicken nuggets and/or dinosaur sandwich cutter would be the most used things in the kitchen

College Rumors: Dispelled!

So, I don't actually think anyone here is starting college, but I'm writing this anyway. Partially because I should probably start posting more and partially because the idea struck me. If it helps anyone out when starting college: fabulous. If not, I mean, you're not really here for college tips anyway are you?
RUMOR 1: College Cares Who Your Roommate Is
I have yet to hear of one person who got assigned a roommate based on a survey, mutual interests, or the school making any effort whatsoever to match people based on literally any commonality other than gender. It's just a fact, college doesn't give a crap who you live with, even if they are a crazy goat-loving serial killer whose only goal this year is to make a three piece suit out of your flesh (at here at good old MU you'd have to keep that skin on you for two weeks during the housing freeze until you could move out...). People skills, it's all about people skills....but keep a hatchet, can of mace or chainsaw on hand just in case...

RUMOR 2: You Don't Have to Go to Class
Okay, I guess this one is more of a 'depends on who you ask' kind of rumor but honestly, class is two or three times a week cushioned by at least a few hours of nap time before and/or after. It's not that hard. Granted, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who have stories of 'Oh la de da I'm a bad ass and didn't go to a single class and got an A.' Good for you jerk face, I hope that you have as much fun paying the loans you took out to go to college as you did not going to the class you paid that money for. Am I saying I've never skipped class? If you're my mother or grandmother reading this, YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING, WHO ME? SKIP CLASS? NEVER. But for those considering, set yourself some boundaries. As much as I hate going to class in the rain, I like to wait until the opportune moment to skip class, usually on a day without a test, quiz or due date as professors are usually less forgiving about making that stuff up later.

RUMOR 3: Everyone Drinks and You Will Look Like a HUGE SOCIAL OUTCAST If You Don't.
Not to be cliche, but this is false*. I know a ton of people who don't drink at college. Granted I used to know more....but there are certainly a percentage of college students who don't and have a perfectly peachy college experience. This is not me commenting on underage drinking or preaching you shouldn't - do what you want to do, just I beg you to be smart about whatever it is you're doing. And don't do anything absurd, like make a three piece suit of your roommates skin or something. This is just me saying that if you don't drink I promise that this does not mean your college experience will be awful.
*Except maybe at Penn State

RUMOR 4: Upperclassmen Hate Freshman
So this is another one that I might be wrong on, and I'm sure that in some instances, yes freshman might be singled out for 'special treatment' especially in some clubs and organizations, but it's not like they hate you. Most times it's tradition for new recruits to do some unpleasant task, mostly as bonding (although, Greek life, I have my suspicions...). But most upperclassmen are friendly, helpful and don't really hold anything against freshmen. It's not like you can do anything about being a freshman anyway, you've got to start somewhere....

RUMOR 5: Gen Ed Classes are Exceedingly Stupid and Pointless
This is more of a half-rumor. In that yes, I've taken some INCREDIBLY STUPID AND POINTLESS general education classes (World Lit, Botany anyone?) but I also got to take some really cool ones (Psych, Music). I think the biggest thing with gen eds is not to waste them - don't just let your advisor shove you into whatever, look around a bit. Now that almost all of my gen eds are done, I miss having a little wiggle room in my schedule. And there's so much I never got to take that I would have LOVED (science fiction literature, costume making, Latin, photography, History of Math...the list goes on and on). So bottom line is that there are some pointless gen eds, and some that are downright TORTURE either because they're super hard/picky/boring but there are also a lot of chances to take some stuff that you've always wanted to check out. Trust me, MAKE THEM COUNTTTT.

RUMOR 6: Dining Hall Food is Gross/Great
I've had two years of dining hall dining under my belt now, so I think I can be considered a decent authority on it. In my experience, it depends on what you eat. Random things can be yummy while normal things can leave you praying to the porcelain gods for the next hour and a half. My advice: don't eat anything you think looks suspicious and/or undercooked and nonchalantly try and make your dining companions taste-test things you're iffy about.


Hmm, any more rumors you'd like me to address? I'm stuck for ideas.

Bucket List [UPDATE]

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Oh jeez. It's been a month?

Wow, this summer's disappeared, huh? Between work, class and the inevitable questing that's ensued I haven't posted in so freaking long! I think I'll warm back up with something small, how about a playlist? These are the songs playing incessently on my iPod this summer as I rove around where ever...

"Superbass" Mah girl Nikki Minaj
"New Soul" Yail Naiim
"Someone Like You" Adele (I cry everytime I hear it, and it makes me sad it's on the radio cause now I cry in public)
"Party Rock Anthem" LMFAO (really, is there any question? this is the best <3)
"Where Dem Moves At Judas?" David Guetta vs. Lady Gaga vs. Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera (epic mashup, look it up)
"Home" Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
"Mr. Blue Sky" ELO (just a great, happy song)
"When Will My Life Begin" Tangled soundtrack
"Blow" Ke$ha
"A-Punk" Vampire Weekend (just a great song)
"The Time (Dirty Bit)" Black Eyed Peas (how can you NOT love the catchy dance beats that they and LMFAO have?!)
"I Feel It All" Feist
"Last Friday Night (TGIF)" Katy Perry

Darkside Dubstep

Summer Project: How To

So, I realized that every summer I paint the oldest pair of my sneakers...this summer will be no different, but I'm undertaking a bit more complex designs. Two summers ago I splatter painted my green converses, last summer I adventure time-d my Vans and this summer my red Jr. Prom sneakers are getting the VIP treatment and getting my favorite first generation Pokemon painted on them. In celebration of my love for shoes, I've decided to share some of my tricks of the trade for maintaining, salvaging and revamping sneakers :) Most of them are pretty unexpected and can be done with stuff you probably already have lying around the house. Hope this helps and enjoy pimping out your feet!

[NOTE: These tips have been tested and perfected on Converse All Stars and Classic Slip-On Vans. Any canvas shoe can be expected to work with most of these techniques but I can't make any guesses about suede, leather or any other synthetic material]

Prepping Your Shoes (or just keeping them lookin' fly like a G6)

TIP #1: Nail Polish Remover

I know, it smells gross and burns like hell if you get it on any wounds, but this stuff is GREAT at getting anything and everything off of, well, anything and everything. I use it whenever I get any sort of paint anywhere I don't want it, from acrylics to nail polish to everything. It also works wonders on keeping the white rubber soles of your sneakers looking like new (or at least, not as old as they actually are). Just put some nail polish (AKA neurotoxin) on a cotton ball or Q-tip and start scrubbing.

TIP #2: Nail Glue

I try not to think too hard about the fact that all the stuff we put on our nails is also great on shoes. It helps me sleep at night. That being said, I do have to thank BeautySchoolDropout (BSD for short, like your nickname? lol) for the tip off about this wonder-substance. I've heard/seen it be used for everything from display assembly to creating pseudo elf-ears. It's also great at keeping the rubber of your soles together. Not to mention its like under two bucks for a bottle. I find the best kind for the job is the type with a brush instead of a squeeze bottle. Just brush a little bit onto one side of the rubber and hold. But don't get it on your fingers, this shit bonds FAST. If you do though, it comes off with a bit of nail polish remover, no problem. NOTE: If you're cleaning AND gluing your soles in one go, clean them first then let them dry well before gluing, otherwise the nail polish remover will ruin your glue job.



TIP #3: Brush Your Shoes (Ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch)

First off, if you can tell me what the name of this tip is a reference to, you win a bazillion Krysti-points.

Moving onward, again, beauty product turned shoe (and clothing) care product. Just make sure that the brush you plan on using isn't the one you're brushing your teeth with (mine has big sharpie letters on it that say DO NOT BRUSH TEETH). Used toothbrushes are super useful in crafty projects, not only do they make great splatter paint brushes, they're also great at getting caked on mud and crap off of fabrics, specifically sturdier fabrics like canvas. If you've got dirt and mud on your sneakers, let it dry and scrub it off with a toothbrush. The same applies for wool. Last year I fell face-first into a huge mud puddle wearing my green wool peacoat. I saucily trudged home, was laughed at by my roommates, hung my jacket to dry, went back to lunch, and came back and scrubbed the dry mud off. You couldn't even tell anything ever happened to it (which is great, cause those suckers can be expensive).

Pimping Your Shoes (or anything fabric really....)

TIP #4: Tulip Fabric Paints

Oh my goodness I love this paint. I've used it a million and a half times on tshirts, dresses, sneakers, jerseys and everything in between. They work great, don't fade in the wash and are just like normal paint (fun fact, I despise puffy paint in most situations). Most of the things I've been doing recently with this have been free handed, which is great because you can mix and blend and fade colors just like you can with regular paint. But these little guys are also great for using with freezer paper stencils which, as my close friends who

TIP #5: Sharpie...wait for it...FABRIC MARKERS

Oh. Hell. Yes.

For anyone out there who's used a Sharpie to make/sign a great memory-filled tshirt and then have it completely disappear after one wash - here is your salvation. The folks at Sharpie must have finally taken a look at all the awesome projects the folks on DeviantArt and Craftster were doing on fabric with their regular markers and thought "hey, maybe these good people wouldn't have to check the weather forecast before wearing their creations if we made them some awesome fabric markers!" Great idea sharpie people! I just bought a pack of these at Walmart and have started using them in tandem with the tulip paints for crisp outlines and tiny details. The black one is (as should be expected) awesome, the others work a lot better on lighter fabrics. So since I'm working on red I'm kind of sticking with the black. But I cannot wait to get my hands on some plain white sneakers!!! However, if you don't feel like investing in these buggers (they're a bit pricey at @ 12.99 for an eight pack at Walmart) you can just stick with the crafters go-to tool: the classic sharpie.

TIP #6: ModPodge

"What the hell is this?" you say. And I was in your shoes too, not too long ago. Until I finally decided to pick some of this ish up last summer. Basically its like a combination glue/sealer that works on almost anything, wood, plastic, glass, fabric, and acts as an all in one for decoupage. Most recently I used it on my comic book heels:

But combine it with sparkles and you could create yourself some glittery heels a la The Wifey 

(or sneakers a la LunaLovegood - sorry, no picture of those). It's really easy to use and you can find a million and a half ideas for shoes and other projects on their official blog.

And for all you blog readers who have no interest in crafting whatsoever but stuck it out through this post because you love me, I'm sorry,  my life is eat-sleep-camp-craft. There's not a hell of a lot else to write about. But I love you all and as always, suggestions welcome!

Cutest Kids On The Internet

So that you don't think I hate children. Here are some of my favorites [WARNING- EXCESSIVE ADORABLENESS AHEAD]:











And debatably my favorite kid video of all time because it never fails to make me tear up with happiness:

Things I Learned At Comic Con

• Physical appearance is one of the last things to be considered when choosing a costume
• If you say what you want loud enough someone will help you find it
• Never comment on how stupid getting elf ears surgically done is until you check out the ears of the people around you
• Anything that can come unglued will come unglued
• The fact that Zelda is the female character in the Legend of Zelda series is less of common knowledge that I thought
• Reading Terminal Market is awesome
• LARPers are incredibly nice and super crafty
• Everybody loves Zatanna
• When buying props, you get discounts for being dressed as that character
• Comic book-collecting Jewish boys are incredibly nice
• Ex-cops from Texas should not host costume contests
• On the whole, nerds are extremely nice people
• We're recognisable as 'regulars' at PhillyCon
• There's something there for everyone, I found something my mom would like
• Nail glue is kind of the shit
• Electrical tape does not stick well to fabric
• If you see something you want - BUY IT
• Superman is kind of a jerk
• If a female character isn't already over-sexed, cosplayers will find a way to make her so
• It is possible to walk through North Philadelphia in costume and not die (however, not recommended)

Don't worry though, Comic Con isn't all serious learning and irrational purchases. Highlights included the very rational purchase of a Harry Potter replica wand, seeing the ever-grumpy Adam West, getting a picture with a portal gun, more Jedi fun, meeting the Boondock Saints (including Norman Reedus who was totally Judas in Lady Gaga's "Judas" music video) and seeing all the adorable kids in costume (OMG THEY KILL ME THEY'RE SO CUTE!)

Warning: Don't Read These to Children

A lot of times when I meet new people, or even are discussing my future with friends, they wonder (usually aloud) how the fuck I'm going to be a teacher with the mouth of a sailor and the sense of humor to match. To them I respond that I have an incredible sensor, always have. I've worked around kids/lived in my family forever and can turn my family-friendly self off in an instant. I just don't feel the need to if there's no occasion to. I think this might be one of the reasons I love this new wave of adult-version children's books that are cropping up. Written and illustrated like a children's book, they're just like me, seemingly child-friendly until you take a closer look. To be honest, I'm not to worried about the surprise I get from people. Having seen plenty of teachers behind-the-scenes I think it's funny to expose others to the fact that teachers have more than one dimension...

You can't actually 'click to read' that was just on the picture I used...lol



A kids-eye view of plastic surgury...oh, that's great...wait, WTF



This is older but the artwork is really cool.



OMG CLICK FOR AUDIO NARRATED BY SAMUEL L JACKSON



I also considered calling this post "More Proof I Shouldn't Have Children" but I think I may make that a separate post, considering it could be a long one.